Jahnavi | The Kale-Coggnate

The night after Christmas

2011-12-25T20:43:00.000-08:00

Tis the nightafter Christmas, we’re all in the house

PC’s in my lap, an iPhone with my spouse.

J’s stocking is down and it’s lying ‘round bare,

Proof that Saint Nicolas had just been there.

Jahnavi’s nestled all snug in her bed

with a doll of Rapunzel asleep by her head.

She’s brushed that thing’s hair from the morn to the night

so the doll may be bald by the next morning light.

But Christmas was good, J awoke around 7.

Out of bed, hit the loo, then the girl was in heaven.

She ran to the fireplace - we’d left Nick a snack

“The snacks are all gone!” she cried on the way back.

And the note that she’d written, “This is for you

and your reindeer” was answered
“From Santa, Thank you.”

A seasonal Pandora playlist

was streamed

while Jahnavi opening presents

just beamed.

Rapunzel, some clothes

for her Barbie and Ken

Her own clothes, some books,

way too much plastic bling.

Then French toast and coffee

(or milk for the daughter)

‘fore I laid down in bed for a nap, like I oughter.

While J in her room played alone with her toys

Sweet voicings of characters was her only noise.

And lunch later on with her Aji and Ajoba

Tasty as always and a new nap was rather a

nice way to spend a Christmas afternoon,

that night we did end with a funny cartoon.

But it was Christmas dinner that nearly brought tears.

The evening before I could not b’lieve my ears.

“What menu?” asked I as my wife I did greet.

“Potatoes for mash and loaf made of meat.”

But it’s time now for bed, earlier I was stating

to J that our plan for tomorrow’s ice skating.

Much, much rest is needed, as late I’ve been sick

Hence napping and resting the day of St. Nick.

And to you, dear blog reader I bring to a close

this posting while roasting in slippers my toes.

Let me say now to you as you leave this blog site,

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

Oh, the weather outside was frightful

2011-12-15T12:10:00.000-08:00

It was rainy and miserable last weekend when we put up the tree, but inside it was so delightful with Christmas music streaming off Pandora. We popped open the artificial, light-endowed tannenbaum and then set to weighing it down with holiday bling. We had to get it done then, because this weekend we're going to Mexico. We're celebrating Vidula's 40th birthday by traveling to Cancun with her entire family for a week of sun and fun.

In the pictures below, that's not what Jahnavi looks like anymore. She lost another tooth a few days ago and now has a giant L-shaped gap in her mouth. I know it's getting harder for her to thay thertain thoundth, but man, she's making a mint at a buck a pop.

Can't get you outta my head

2011-11-26T20:08:00.001-08:00

After going to bed, Jahnavi walked out of her room tonight looking like some sort of mini-vampire, or even worse, like the little girl from the series opener of The Walking Dead - blood trickling down her chin, hair mussed up, a glazed-over zombie-like stare...and a tooth in her hand. Yikes! Instead of sleeping like she should have been, Jahnavi laid in bed for over an hour playing with a previously only-slightly-loose tooth. Much to her surprise (and ours), it popped right out of her head. Kinda seems like that adorable lisp is here to stay a while longer, what with a third front top tooth gone. I guess if she does become a zombie, she can only gum our flesh for now...

Butcher, baker, candlestick maker

2011-11-18T11:33:00.001-08:00

For the second or third time this week, Jahnavi decided she wanted to help me grade papers. It's nice having a teaching assistant, even if she does slow down the process considerably. Last night she asked before dinner, got really excited when I said yes, then as I was putting the food away in the kitchen she ran to the office to grab my netbook and file folder and bring them to the dining room table (I'm not so happy about her manhandling my electronics, though) . Then she pulled up two chairs - one for herself and one for Arabella, her Groovy Girl. I read out the answers and she checked each test, marking the wrong ones, checking the right ones, and tabulating the score. This was, of course, all under my extremely watchful supervising eye. The first time, she plopped herself in my lap and helped me grade vocabulary tests, which I thought would be useful exposure to college-levels words and spelling, even if she won't use them for a few more years. She really likes grading with daddy, at least for now. I could see that several times yesterday evening that she was losing focus (as was I), so I continually offered to let her go play. Nope, she wanted to finish. When bedtime finally rolled around, she was genuinely upset that there were still two more ungraded tests. My fear is that in later years she'll decide to be a teacher (or worse, a language teacher). Should she ever announce such a desire, I and her mother shall beat her soundly.

About last night

2011-11-13T19:03:00.001-08:00

We took Jahnavi over to Brian and Lauren's last night so we could share their sitter for Ainsley and Selby, then we headed downtown for a wild time of dancing at Bartini. And by 'wild', I mean we sat around and nursed our drinks for an hour or two. In total, six couples temporarily abandoned their roughly-same-aged-children for a night of controlled hedonism. Finally, the music seeped into these ever-aging bones of ours and we abandoned our coats and sweaters with great...um...abandon. Rugs were cut, hips were swayed, and mojos were worked. You'll have to take my word for it; we have no pix.

Jahnavi spent the night with Ainsley while we blissfully slept in this morning. We owe the Lins. Here's a little record of their shenanigans this morning before we all met for a Skyline lunch.

A shameless use of child labor

Kids have unionized, mandatory 30 min yogurt break

Kids now staging #occupybackyard in protest of parent oppression

Living after midnight (or at least past bedtime)

2011-11-12T07:00:00.001-08:00

Busy week, it's been.

Last Saturday, Jahnavi's Fogana dance group gave their final performance (the one they'd worked so hard on all summer for the competition) for this year's Diwali celebration. This time we got to take video and pictures. The girls and boys had fun and seemed to remember all their steps really well with only a few practices (and some step changes).

So Jahnavi came home from ballet Wednesday and, fashion-conscious as she is, the first thing she asked me was, "Where did you get that shirt, Daddy?" And I was proud to tell her that it was my new T-shirt from the Judas Priest concert. Oh, yea. I was breakin' the law Tuesday night (legally, though). Still a little tired.

Then came yesterday. Vidula turned...can I say how old? I guess so, since the singing puppet-gram said it to the entire restaurant at lunch. Vidula turned 40. Both she and Jahnavi had the day off (bank employees and public school students are lucky! And I'm the veteran...). They got their nails done and then we had lunch at Annabel's, where a puppeteer friend of a friend performed an excellent original composition, with personal facts and tidbits about Vidula to a tune very similar to Prince's 'Raspberry Beret.'

Now for tonight. See the invite below:
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Dear FOVs*,

Time is the nurse and breeder of all good¹, and soon will engender the occasion for one and all to celebrate not just another year in the life of someone we all care about, but to acknowledge a milestone, the beginning of a new era in her life. Yes, the times are a-changin'², and Vidula is reaching the end of her fourth decade, thus beginning the journey into her fifth. This year, Vidula turns 40. Age, however, ain’t nothing but a number, and throwing down ain’t nothing but a thang³. You are thus invited to throw down and celebrate this thang with her. When? What time? Who has time? Well, if we never take time, how can we have time?⁴So let me give you the time: Saturday, November 12, 8pm. But where, where, you ask? Time may be the school in which we learn, and time may be the fire in which we burn⁵, but Bartini is the bar in which we toss aside our temporal concerns. And how long will it last? You’ll need to find a sitter, no doubt. Hours. So many hours must I take my rest; so many hours must I contemplate.⁶Let’s just say either until the cows come home or the baby sitter needs to be paid.

I believe that time is a companion who goes with us on the journey and reminds us to cherish every moment, because it will never come again.⁷ Please accompany Vidula and me for this once-in-her-lifetime event. There’s sure to be merriment and dancing, drinking and carrying on, laughing and crying and hugging. Time's tide will smother you ... and I will too.⁸

*Friends of Vidula
1 “Time is the nurse and breeder of all good.”

William Shakespeare, The Two Gentlemen of Verona , Act III, scene 1, line 243 (1590s)

2 “The times they are a-changin'.”

Bob Dylan, The Times They Are A-Changin' (1964)

3 “Age ain’t nothing but a number. Throwing down ain’t nothing but a thang.”

Aaliyah, Age Ain't Nothing but a Number (1994)

4 “Who has time? Who has time? But then if we never take time, how can we have time?”

The Merovingian in The Matrix Reloaded (2003) by the Wachowski Brothers

5 “Time is the school in which we learn. Time is the fire in which we burn.”

Delmore Schwartz in "Calmly We Walk Through This April's Day" (1937)

6 “So many hours must I take my rest; So many hours must I contemplate.”

William Shakespeare, Henry VI, Part III, Act II, scene 5, line 32 (c. 1591)

7 “Someone once told me that time was a predator that stalked us all our lives. I rather believe that

time is a companion who goes with us on the journey and reminds us to cherish every moment,

because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we've lived. After

all Number One, we're only mortal.”

Jean-Luc Picard in Star Trek: Generations (1994), portrayed by Patrick Stewart

8 “Time's tide will smother you ... and I will too.”

The Smiths, That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore (1985) single; written by Morrissey

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I'll let you know how it turns out.

Made out like bandits

2011-11-03T18:57:00.000-07:00

Jahnavi met up with her best friend from kindergarten, Ariah (right) and her best friend since pre-K, Ainsley (left) and Ainsley's little sister, Selby (far left) for a night of tricking and treating and general cavorting in costume. As you can see, she finally put her bee suit on, hand-sown by her mother. And how about that bee hive basket with styrofoam bees buzzing around? That's Dad's contribution to the all hallow's eve equipment.We walked around the neighborhood near her school and it was a lot of fun. Dear lord! The sheer number of kids walking around! The thing I kinda like about Cincinnati at Halloween is the fire pits - neighbors gather in front of one house and bring food and drink and hand out candy. Never did that back home when I was a kid. I also don't remember parents escorting their little ghouls with open beer bottles and glasses of wine in-hand. Not that anyone got rowdy. It was a nice, subdued, friendly, sugary, chocolaty, costumy evening.

Next year, she wants to be a cat.

All Hallow's Prep

2011-10-30T08:31:00.001-07:00

In development

Prototype

Dancing at school party

Jahnavi announced rather matter-of-factly a couple weeks ago that she wanted to be a bee for Halloween this year. That was fine with us, because it means she's finally moved away from all the princess crap. And it also meant that Vidula had a chance to make, not simply purchase, a memorable costume for her. So above, we have some scenes from the development stage of production, and then the prototype try-out last Friday at school. Kilgour had a Halloween parade up and down the sidewalks in front of the school. There were plenty of ninjas, Batmans (Batmen? Batsman?), Clone troopers, and princesses, and an unusual amount of Cleopatras. But along with the run-of-the-mills, some of those costumes were fantastic. Jahnavi had fun at the class party (again, see above), but her parade experience was less than enjoyable; something about the wings not fitting right and then later some older kids were teasing her about them and messing with them. This was corroborated by her peeps, if somewhat inaccurately, but wholeheartedly denied by her teacher. Whatever. Bottomline was that my little girl was unhappy and whiny at a time when all the other kids in her class were having a great time. Crap. But she wasn't the only little whiner and with some sugary snackage brought by a helpful parent volunteer, her mood cleared up and she rescinded her sulky, impromptu decision to not go trick-or-treating as a bee this year. Whew. Tonight we finish and add a few accoutrements.

Yesterday, Halloween aside, we took Jahnavi and Ainsely to see Giselle performed by the Cincinnati Ballet. It was fantastic (my god, what they can do with their feet and legs and...those men's tights are really tight). The girls loved it and stayed pretty still for the whole two hours (not counting intermission). Jahnavi's been in ballet for over a year (still gotta put up her dance from the summer) and this was good inspirational exposure.

Today she practices with Fogana for next week's Diwali celebration. Dance, dance, dance...

Jahnavi 6.0

2011-10-15T20:59:00.001-07:00

She turned 6 years old today. Up at 6:30 excited it was her birthday, journey to Costco for a cake and a refusal to even consider a nap, bead party with eight five-to-six-year-olds that was super successful and lots of fun, tasty dinner of pau bhaji and gulab jum at home with family and friends, played with Ainsley for hours and almost couldn't go to sleep. It was a good day.

First sleepover

2011-10-02T20:14:00.000-07:00

Well, sort of. Last night, Jahnavi spent the night over at her best friend's, Ainsley. It was a late birthday surprise for Ainsley, who'd had her birthday in August, but she and her family were traveling in China around the same time. Brian and Lauren took them to the Children's Museum at the Cincinnati Museum Center, then back home for Dewey's pizza, ice cream, and chocolate chip cookies (homemade, by Vidula and Jahnavi). This was technically her first sleepover, but not really. Ainsley once spent the night over here, and Jahnavi has spent the night without us before at her Aaji's and also at her Mahima Auntie's.

And what did her parents do with no little girl to watch or entertain? Well, after our late afternoon nap, we showered and went out to A Tavola (excellent and fast pizza, but a long wait on a Friday night). Then it was back home where we Netflixed Louis CK (my god, he's funny).

Jahnavi was a little out-of-control today, due to lack of sleep, but that wasn't unexpected, and really, she wasn't all that bad. A good weekend, I must say.

...and the truth shall set you free.

2011-09-28T20:44:00.000-07:00

Jahnavi is acquiring new skills by the day. We can see changes in her walk, her talk, her expressions, her vocabulary, her overall language, you name it. But one of her latest skills we're a little at a loss for: it seems she's getting good at lying. Not that a six-year-old is all that deceptive, and it's not like she hasn't fibbed before, but we were a little shocked this afternoon.

I picked her up in the school cafeteria after work, and one of her friends trotted by to let her know that the money Jahnavi gave her (two dimes) was enough (not sure for what). Jahnavi had been on the receiving end of someone else's lunch money two weeks ago, so it seems that these girls are playing some sort of game with each other's money. OK to experiment and play, but I told her that her milk money was for milk only, and if she didn't buy any then she had to bring it back home. Now, she's been "forgetting" to buy milk on and off for the past few weeks, and only recently have we ascertained that it's because her friends bring their own milk and if she stands in line to buy some, she doesn't get to sit with them during lunch. She's been foregoing the dairy option to keep up with her socializing. A little frustrating, but understandable.

However, yesterday, when her mother asked whether she bought milk or not, she said she had. When further questioned about how that worked with her socializing, she said that her friends had saved a seat for her. Great, we thought, problem solved. Well done. Well, not exactly done at all. When we got home today and Vidula and I compared notes, I mentioned the milk money games. She was astounded - she hadn't given Jahnavi any money today; it was yesterday's money. Jahnavi had given us the answer she knew we wanted and lied about buying the milk. Not only that, she had made up a plausible cover story (her friends' saving her a seat while she stood in line), taken from an actual event last week. Truth mixed into her falsehood.

OK. So kids lie. This won't be the last time, and I know those untruths will only get more sophisticated with age. I just didn't expect such unblinking fibbery this early on. I mean, she didn't bat an eyelid when she gave us the story yesterday. What did we do? Some stern words, an outward show of disappointment, and a talking-to about how telling us the truth will make us happy even if the truth itself doesn't. Oh, and no book before bed. That hit her hard, but she didn't cry and run away to her room upon hearing her sentence, as she's wont to do. We could see in her face that she knew she'd done something wrong, and we gave her a way to make up for it - the truth tomorrow and there'll be a bedtime story.

Wonder if there are any polygraphs for sale on craigslist.

With her, the Force is.

2011-09-19T19:10:00.000-07:00

Kindergarten's in its 6th week now and Jahnavi is like a fish in water. By week two, I asked her if she was ready to go to her new school and she replied, "Daddy, it's my old school now." Cool. She's busy with ballet on Wednesdays and soccer on Fridays, where I'm even volunteering. Yes, I've become a soccer dad; now all I need to do learn how to play soccer.

This past weekend, Sunu maushi was in town for her high school reunion. While we were all eating dinner together, she was coaxing Jahnavi to eat something she was resisting and said something to her like, "You should eat more of that, young master." Jahnu immediately picked up on the film reference, turned to me and said, "Daddy, I want to see the third Star Wars movie tonight." Excuse me, I think I'm tearing up while I type. Needless to say, we watched Return of the Jedi this weekend, completing the trilogy. Once I told her there were three more movies (albeit infinitely schlockier) about Darth Vader as a little boy, she was all excited. So am I. I also bribed her with the promise of a Yoda figure to compliment her Luke Skywalker and R2D2.

She's reading now. Her sentences are getting longer and longer, and her ability to remember spelling rules and sound out unfamiliar words is noticeably improving by the week. After much resistance, I think she might like reading. Still too early to really tell, but we'll continue to encourage.

Kindergarten – the first day

2011-08-16T20:43:00.001-07:00

Today was Jahnavi’s first day of kindergarten. She’d already gotten used to change, what with leaving Goddard, Camp at the J, a week back at Goddard, and then a week in Seattle, but she was still a little nervous. We took the red eye from Seattle and got back early, early Monday morning, just in time to see Minal maushi, Stephen kaka, and Baby Nishka before they left. They’d been visiting Cincinnati while we were away. After they left, we got school supplies and went to bed. In the morning, all went well, but she wasn’t her usual chipper self. As a matter of fact, I don’t think we got a smile out of her at all. Luckily, I’m between semesters and Vidula didn’t have any meetings this morning, so we could both drop her off. We parked near the school and walked back to the playground, along with several hundred other parents and kids. At one point, I knelt down and Jahnavi whispered in my ear, “Daddy, I’m scared. There are a lot of people here.” She found a number of old friends from Goddard, including Ainsley, but still, no smiles. Finally the time came and she walked off, into her classroom. She was sad and we were sad, but there were no tears. Hell, she’s used to leaving us. She was just anxious about where she was going. That afternoon, though, she was all smiles. She played with old friends on the playground during recess, met with others in the cafeteria at lunch, and even found a friend from camp. That evening, we celebrated her first big day at her favorite restaurant, Zip's Cafe, where we ran into a friend from school (Morgan). She’s still a little nervous, she says, but she likes kindergarten (yea!) and is looking forward to going back tomorrow.

Days in the Sun

2011-08-16T19:06:00.000-07:00

This has been a really hot summer, so we were glad to be out of the Cincinnati heat and in the cloudy coolness of Seattle for a week. We hadn’t been out to see Sunila maushi, Christian kaka, Sahil, and Siyona in two years, so it was high time we headed west. They have a lovely new house we hadn’t yet seen, with lots of windows and space, complete with a view of the iconic Seattle Space Needle. We ate a lot, yes, like any well-executed vacation, but we were also in motion for most of the trip. I’m not talking typical American vacation mode – go, go, go to as many places as possible and see, see, see all you can in the time allotted. This was a real vacation; sleeping in (as much as the children allowed), napping (ditto), and just a lot of hanging around. The bonus was the elementary school across the street. Not only do they have a beautiful house with a nice view from the porch on the second floor, but they have a playground and blacktop right across the street, where we were nearly every day.

The air was chilly and the sky overcast in the mornings, but it always cleared up before noon. It was hot in the sun and cool in the shade for the rest of the day, and never any rain. We played on the monkey bars one day (yes, we), biked around the blacktop on other days. One morning the kids biked to the library while Vidula and I walked along. Jahnavi and Siyona even took their first reluctant steps toward bicycling without training wheels. Jahnavi went nearly six seconds with her kaka before falling over. There were only a few spills, but no tears and no giving up; only a small tear in the knee of her jeans. The dads took them to another park on one of the other days. All of us biked down to the Fremont Market the last day, and then hung around at Gas Works Park. Seattle’s a beautiful city, and it was a great place to spend a vacation. And who better to spend it with?

We also celebrated two birthdays – Sahil’s 7th and Sunila maushi’s [information censored]th. There were small parties, cupcakes, ice cream, presents, kids and parents over. Each night, after the children were put to bed, we settled in the basement for a big screen showing of a True Blood episode. We just finished season three, but they’re only on season two, so we had to be quiet about what we knew.

The kids didn’t have their first arguments until about day three, but they found ways of making up and playing again quickly. It was fantastic seeing them again. Sahil is avidly reading Harry Potter and other books and interested in chess; Siyona sang her sweet songs in my ear when I carried her on my back. As always, being around Sahil has pushed Jahnavi along. She really wants to read more (which she didn’t before), and she also really wants to ride without training wheels (ditto).

Our next trip to Seattle won’t take two years to happen. The next time we see them, though, will be in Mexico.

Fogana 2011

2011-07-17T19:58:00.000-07:00

After months of practicing, sometimes as much as 3 times a week, the Fogana Regional Dance Competition is over. It was Cincinnati's first time in 15 years to host the event, and teams from all around the Mid-West came. Most came from Ohio, like Cleveland and Dayton, but Chicago and Detroit were represented as well. We woke up at 7am Saturday, then Vidula and Jahnavi drove to Mason High School so J could get ready with the rest of the dance team. I arrived a little later. They'd worked really hard over the past few months, but the competition was stiff. The rules were a little rough, too - no photos, no video, no shouting your city's name. Jeesh. At 1pm, the show started. Jahnavi's group was up against two others in the Minor Folk Dance category. We were as nervous as they were when the music started up and they came out on stage like little whirling dervishy canaries. They actually did a little better at their last practice, but they were good, especially if you consider that the age range was only 5-8. When all was said and done and the last of 26 dance teams had finished, the awards were handed out. How'd our team do? They came in third, but for 5-year-olds, being told you're in the top three and you get a trophy, well that makes it all worthwhile. They had fun and made friends and learned some dance moves. I'm proud of her.

We stayed out late partying with fellow team

parents, Rajan, Priti, Samir, and Ami; maybe a little too late for the kids, but the next day was Sunday. Wow, what are we going to do with all the free time? No practices anymore...

In lieu of any video, here's at least the song

they danced to. And here are some more photos.

Buck tooth

2011-07-10T15:15:00.000-07:00

After being loose for two months, and on the verge of falling out all day, Jahnavi finally tongue-twiddled tooth number three out of her head. She started messing with it in the morning, continued throughout our day at the zoo, until by the Fogana dance team dinner that evening it was sticking out like Mater's buck teeth. Twenty minutes after I kissed her goodnight (she couldn't kiss me because it hurt), closed the bedroom door, and we were sure she was sleeping (it had been a very long day for the little girl), she proudly walked out with incisor in hand. The next morning, however, she wasn't too excited about getting only a single gold dollar coin for that tooth until we did a valuation analysis. Pointing out the color and size differences helped. She had stored the four quarters she earned for tooth number two in a little change purse, so we were able to compare and contrast and help her learn the (devaluing) value of the US dollar. Now she's itching to go out and boost the economy.

Fathers' Day

2011-06-20T19:52:00.000-07:00

Fathers' Day number five - cross that one off. I have to say that they're getting better. This year, she made several cards for me. Of course, she was prompted by her teachers, but it was still a lovely thought. Most of them she made in class the week or so leading up to Sunday. She could only resist showing me them for about two minutes before she giggled and gave in each time. The nicest one, though, she made while we were at the gym yesterday: on one side, a framed drawing of her and me, and on the other, a flower. "That's you and that's me," she explained on the way to the car, "and that's a flower because I love you." That night, after I finished reading to her and turned on her night light, I told Jahnavi that "of all the monkeys in the world, I love you the best." She promptly responded with, "I love you of all the daddies in the world."

It's that kind of schmaltz that makes this job so compelling, once you get the gig. I mean, I occasionally reflect on my own upbringing and think, "Hell, I've done way better than my old man," but that's a pretty low bar. I see other fathers, some older, some my age, more of them younger, and they're doing pretty well at this thing. Are they better than me? Of course I wonder sometimes, but not often. I want to be a good dad, but not because there's anything to prove to anyone, least of all myself. I want to be a good dad, because I truly feel that Jahnavi, as a person, as my daughter, deserves it.

Yawn. Boring post.

Today was interesting for Jahnavi, because it was her first day of camp at the JCC. She was really sad and moody last week, though. She was afraid she'd never see her school friends again. Talking to her seemed to help (yea! talk therapy!) and of course she'll see many of them again in the fall at kindergarten. Today, though, she was sure she was sick, nauseous even. She ran to the sink, thinking that she was going to vomit. But her mother finally got her to get in the car by reminding her that she was missing the opportunity to show her counselors, whom we met at orientation yesterday afternoon, how good she can swim. She loves swimming (which they'll do everyday for the next six weeks!) and she loves to brag. It was the perfect carrot to dangle in front of her. Turns out she loves it and even knows one of the girls in her 'bunk' from ballet.

Coming soon - pics from her pre-school graduation, her ballet recital, and her Indian dance practice!

Return to Minneapolis

2011-05-31T19:09:00.000-07:00

Vidula and I decided to take a trip back to the Twin Cities during my two-week’s vacation between semesters. It’d been (with the exception of one very short and busy weekend a year ago) two and a half years since I’d been back. Vidula’s gone back several times for work, though. Jahnavi definitely hadn’t been back and had been talking about visiting Zach again for weeks. We decided to drive the thirteen hours instead of coughing up the funds to fly. We broke the drive-to in half by stopping with Aditya Mama and Shilpa Mami, who waited up late to eat dinner with us and then surprised us with a treat of dahi wada. A good night’s sleep later, we were on the road to the TC.

We got in late Saturday afternoon to Uncles Chauncey and Michael’s house. For Mothers’ Day, we all van’d over to Amber and Dave’s house. Jahnu finally got her wish to play with Zach, who was super sweet to her and followed parental orders not to show her cartoons or video games that were too violent. Jeez, Amber was pregnant at our wedding (the anniversary of which is coming up quickly the beginning of next month). That was nearly nine years ago…oh, Time! Where have you gone?

Monday was another big, green adventure. While Vidula had to go in to work, Jahnavi and I took the bus downtown where we caught the light rail to the one, the only, Mall of America. Vidul suggested we eat at the Rainforest Café. The food is a little less than mediocre, but it’s the dark-continental ambiance that you go for. Surprisingly, Jahnavi was a little anxious about all the animatronic apes perched above us. Every 15 minutes or so, they started hooping and hollering, followed by a mock rain storm. It was minorly entertaining, unless, of course, you’re about five years old (they do look a somewhat real). By the time we left, her nervousness gave way to curiosity and excitement, and the only thing that pulled her out of the restaurant was the promise of riding rides. And did we ride rides! We started slow with the swing, and then some others that were a little more interesting, but that she’d ridden on the last time we went to MOA. But then (oh, yea) we took it to the next level. Two and half years makes a big difference in the life of a kid. This time around, she was in the yellow zone, i.e., she’s tall enough to ride most of the bigger rides with a chaperone. The two most exciting rides were the roller coaster and the log flume. She loved the roller coaster (even though it made me a little nauseous), but she absolutely adored the log flume, enough so that we rode it not just twice, but four times! Gotta admit, it’s a pretty cool ride. We finally ended the day’s fun with ice cream and a walk through the book store, where she begged and begged (I’m not kidding) for a math book. She turned down Disney princesses and Toy Story themed books with stickers for two books with basic addition and subtraction exercises, which she happily did on the train and bus back.

Tuesday we spent with Joel. I hadn’t seen him in a while and it was good to catch up. He’d just had his car towed, so we spent much of the day running him around to get it back. Later that day, we went to a park and Jahnavi made friends with a little girl there and Joel picked up his son, Ethan. The four of us finally took off for the local Dairy Queen before retiring to his apartment for some Wii Lego Star Wars action. That night a storm came and amid the blare of tornado sirens, we witnessed right above us the most menacing cloud formations I can recall. Jahnavi was excited by all the hail that followed and made sure to pick some up and store it in the uncles’ freezer.

Wednesday, she and I woke up late and drove downtown for lunch with her mother. The view from the 47th floor presents most of the new Twins baseball field unobstructed, but I think the part J liked most was being allowed to use dry erase markers on the window (this is how they conduct some of their meetings). She left her loveliest doodle for Uncle Chauncey on the white board.

Vidula finally got time off on Thursday and we three went to the Cosetta’s in St. Paul for lunch before heading to the Science Museum for the King Tut exhibit. Really cool museum. We’d never been, but if we still lived there, we’d definitely become members. Sloppy Joes at Uncle Rob’s (missed saying goodbye to Uncle Aaron) ended the night. Later that night, Uncle Michael was allowed the pleasure of reading some of The BFG for bedtime.

Friday, well, not much to say: thirteen hours on the road, hauling straight from the Mini Apple to the Nati. What was the best part, you ask? Well, there were two. One – Vidula wanted to drive the lion’s share of the journey; and two – Jahnavi and I finally finished watching Star Wars together! And she loved it! Now, only five more movies to go!

Stay tuned for the uploading of the photos...

Earth Day adventure

2011-05-22T19:10:00.000-07:00

Jahnavi and I had a rip-roaring Earth Day adventure a few weeks ago (April 22). Jahnavi had been asking for weeks to ride a city bus (no idea why), so when her day off coincided with mine, we decided to pack some snacks and avail ourselves of Cincinnati’s public transport. It was just fortune that our plan coincided with Earth Day. Armed with umbrellas against an overcast and threatening sky, we walked to the bus stop before riding downtown to Fountain Square. We ate lunch at Rock Bottom Brewery, where we both had mac and cheese, then caught the number 1 (for fun!) bus to the Krohn Conservatory to walk among the butterflies. This year’s butterfly exhibit at the conservatory featured colorful, winged things from Brazil. We’ve been to two others, one here with butterflies from India, and one of Japanese butterflies at the Saint Paul Conservatory, but these Brazilians were remarkably friendly; I think Jahnavi racked up at least six landings on her arms and fingers. We got there a little late in the afternoon and closed them down. The plan was to keep it green and bus back to Fountain Square to catch the bus home, but then the skies opened up and we were forced to make an emergency evacuation call to Vidula. At least we left in a hybrid. That’s green.

The evening before, I was walking into the gym when I saw a poster advertising movie night at the JCC. How wonderful it’d be, I thought, to take Jahnu and her friend Ainsley to see ‘Kung Fu Panda.’ It was a good plan – meet Lauren, Ainsley, and Selby for dinner at Skyline Chili, then take the two older girls to play watch a cartoon, and it was executed without flaw. Well, except that it was next week, not this. Oops. So I took them to a park and then out for Graeter’s ice cream. Ainsley, her father’s daughter, asked if they were serving anything seasonal, which I ended up getting – strawberry chocolate chip. And the size of the chip! It wasn’t a chip, it was a blade of chocolate!

The day after Earth Day (Saturday), Aditya Mama and Shilpa Mami drove in from Chicago for a visit. There was a nice puja in honor of their forthcoming baby. The next day was Easter and we painted some eggs that night. In the morning, right before shuttling off to Fogana dance practice, we ate a short breakfast with the landlords upstairs.

Two in one week

2011-03-22T19:50:00.001-07:00

She lost her second tooth today at lunch! This time, she didn't literally lose it. Of course, she was super excited and rushed toward me when I picked her up at school with mouth joyfully agape. She couldn't wait to come home and tell her momma, but she was even more anxious to get on the phone and tell her best friend, Ainsley. I caught her on-camera making her first, unmoderated phone call to a friend (surely not the last).

The last thing she sing-songedly said before I closed her door at bedtime this evening was, "I'm going to get some money." Not sure if I've set her up to equate maturation with material gain. Still, I'm going to put something under pillow tonight. I'm sure there's a recession in fairyland, too (which is up in the clouds, Jahnavi matter-of-factly pointed out before I turned her light off), so I'm guessing less than a dollar?

Getting her Irish on

2011-03-18T20:46:00.000-07:00

It was a nice Saint Patrick's Day. Here Jahnavi is in full green regalia, complete with bowl-cum-hat on her head (a school project). I don't think she won the competition for wearing the most green, but she had to have come close. After we got home, we had a nice quiet dinner together in the kitchen, eating raviolis and listening to Glee tunes by an open window, the weather was so nice.

Tonight was a daddy-daughter-Little Mermaid-straight-to-DVD-sequel night. Vidula comes back from Minneapolis in two days. Rain was terrible. If it thunders again, she'll crawl in bed with me (which is fine tonight, since there's enough room for her to kick and flail).

Popped out at nap time!

2011-03-16T20:14:00.000-07:00

And was lost twice in school, but we have it ready for the tooth fairy now after her teachers found it (both times) and put it in a plastic baggie. Her first tooth! Wow. I'm planning on placing this girly book of fashion stencils under her pillow in exchange for it in the name of the tooth fairy. (It's a book I bought her for Christmas and never got around to giving to her.) Before going to bed, I repeated a few times that, according to tooth fairy lore, if the fairy gives someone a prize for his or her first tooth, all subsequent teeth earn only money, which of course must be saved and with which the tooth-loser may then purchase his or her own prize. (Way to lower expectations!) The excitement of material gain, however, got her to bed without hassle and has kept her there all night.

This week it's just the two of us. Vidula is in Minneapolis on business and her parents are in New York seeing their brand new grand daughter, Nishka, Minal and Stephen's new baby. She's beautiful and we can't wait to meet her. Jahnavi's already started a book for her under the working title, Bunny Takes a Walk. We're still on the cover art stage and a few words at this point, but it's a work in progress. She has time.

All I want for Christmas...

2011-01-27T16:31:00.000-08:00

Jahnavi's dentist appointment today revealed a) she has another cavity (she's already had two filled at the delicate age of 5), and b) her two lower front teeth are loose. Finally, she's getting ready to lose some of her baby teeth. Our little girl's growing up.

Speaking of Christmas, we had a lovely one both here in Cincinnati and later in Florida. I'll post some pictures and stories this weekend.

Pt. Bhimsen Joshi passes

2011-01-26T18:52:00.000-08:00

Jahnavi never got the chance to see the Hindustani Classical singer Bhimsen Joshi, but I did ten years ago and it was fantastic. It was my first trip to India and within a couple days of arriving in Mumbai, we all took off for Pune, a few hours to the east, to see the annual Sawai Gandharva Music Festival. The show didn't start until the evening and ran until late in the morning, for four days. On the last day, Pandit Bhimsen Joshi finished the show. He was old and had to be helped out by some younger gentlemen. I'd heard some of his music and knew he could do amazing things with his voice in his youth. I thought it was very nice that in his twilight years he was shown so much respect, but didn't expect he could hit those pipes like in his early years. I was wrong. At age 78, the man filled the hall with such sound and energy that I'm writing about it a decade later, still amazed and awed. He died on the 24th at the age of 88.

Jahnavi'll want to know this when she grows up.

Here's a sample of the man's talent. Even though it may not be everyone's cup of chai, give it a listen.

Ram Janmala

2011-01-25T14:32:00.000-08:00

I guess I'll skip around with the updates.

Last November 5th, Jahnavi performed in the local Maharashtran mandal (temple) for Diwali. There were a large number of performances, and she, along with all the rest, practiced several evenings to get her moves down. Here's J getting her groove on, Indian style:

Look who's in the news

2011-01-13T17:07:00.000-08:00

I know that it's been months since I've last posted. There's so much to catch up on - Jahnavi's 5th birthday, her Diwali dance, Christmas, New Year, our trip to Florida...but let's start with her first minute and fifty-five seconds of fame.

Study: Not Enough Day Cares Offer Daily Exercise - Video - WLWT Cincinnati

What we did last Saturday

2010-10-05T18:49:00.001-07:00

The fall chill didn't keep us home last weekend. Vidula found the Books by the Banks festival happening downtown and off we went. Over 100 authors, book signings, panels, booths, readings (of Where the Wild Things Are), and costumed characters.

Ainsley and Lauren were even there with some friends. Jahnavi got her face painted (THAT was a long line) and got a photo with the very puppy that's been helping her learn to read, Biscuit.

Afterward, we decided to eat out at P.F. Chang's. Way too often, a trip to a restaurant means a nutrition-free meal for Jahnavi. She's like most kids and refuses vegetables most of the time... unless it's in Indian food (go figure). She wanted to eat out, though, so we agreed on the condition that she eat broccoli. It's happened before and here's the proof that it happened again.

Reflexology

2010-09-30T08:21:00.000-07:00

Two nights ago Jahnavi came into our room after Vidula and I'd gone to bed to tell us that her ear was hurting. Crap, an ear infection. I poured her some Ibuprofen and laid down with her until she rolled on the side of the offending ear and drifted quickly off to sleep. Next morning she was surprisingly fine, so we don't know what it really was. It must've been related to her snotting nose of the past few days, but who knows.

Last night, she comes in at 2:30am. Oh, no. It must be the return of her ear malady. "What's the matter, Honey?" "My feet hurt." Seriously? Now we're at the other end? Her feet? WTF? Now she's got her father, previously only wrapped around her little finger, actually massaging her little feet in bed. But it worked. A little rubbing and she nodded back off, allowing me to go back to my own bed and do the same. In the morning she told me that it was her feet that were cold and, I guess, uncomfortable. I suppose I'm not very articulate at 2:30am either. Gotta get her thicker socks.

Rolling on

2010-09-15T19:39:00.001-07:00

I feel like all the little details about Jahnavi that I notice and try to remember to blog about have become woven into the busy tapestry of each day; mentally noted and perhaps commented on, but lost the next day. I try to keep them in mind, but as soon as I get in front of the keyboard, more pressing matters grab my attention. Well, supposedly more pressing. They're really no more than squeaky wheels demanding enough grease to keep the machine moving.

Enough metaphor mixing.

Two weekends ago we went to Chicago to visit Jahnavi's Aditya mama and Shilpa mami. They have swell digs inside the loop downtown, only a hefty stone's toss from the river. We went with Aji and Ajoba, but came back with them and Aditya's parents, Prakash ajoba and Rohini aji. Great trip, short as it was. We went through Millenium Park to see the big shiny jelly bean and later cruised down the river for one of those architectural tours, where they tell you all about the buildings lining the Chicago River. I highly recommend it, even if the weather isn't as brilliant and blue as ours was. We also saw Sue the T. Rex at the natural history museum. Jahnavi liked the dinos, but loved rolling down the hill outside.

Last Sunday Marathi shala (school) started up again in Mason. Jahnavi goes and sits with her age group, while her father goes toe-to-toe with the 10-year-olds. They can talk circles and circles and circles around me, but I read faster. So there, whippersnappwalas.

Problem solved, dammit!

2010-08-31T19:33:00.000-07:00

While I was dropping Jahnavi off at pre-school this morning her teacher, Mr. Jim, asked me to wait a second. After telling her to go off and play with her friends, he pulled me aside and told me that Jahnavi was drawing a picture yesterday and made a mistake in her artwork, so she blurted out with a sigh of exasperation, "Dammit." Oops. I told him I'd talk to her mother about watching her mouth. I mean, you know, I'm sure it wasn't me who modeled such potty-mouthery.

Later this evening, Jahnavi was decorating her little tent in the living room with stickers. I sat in a chair nearby, reading a book and giving artistic direction as warranted. She walked over and told me something had gone wrong and fallen off or some such thing. Then she looked at me and said, "...so I said 'dammit.' That's OK, because I can say that here." Hmm, testing the waters. I guess we do have to address that here. "Did Mr. Jim tell you it's not OK to say that at school?" A nod of the head. "Well, then it's not OK to say here either." Problem solved!

Can't wait until she starts dropping F-bombs left and right.

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So we're watching Star Trek: The Next Generation the other day. I thought it was OK, because, well, the girl's got to be indoctrinated at some point, and besides, it was the episode Disaster, which features three little kids. I thought she could identify, you know? The kids get stuck in the turbolift with Picard and they all scramble out, singing Frère Jacques (a song Jahnavi knows) while climbing up and out of the shaft. What could be bad about that? I forgot, however, that at the same time this was happening, another crew member was going into labor. Do I avert Jahnavi's eyes? Do I turn off the show? Am I just lazy? "No (to all that)!" I said to myself and we pushed on to where this little almost-five-year-old mission had never gone before. It's life, it's lovely, no reason to hide it. I explained age-appropriately and matter-of-factly what was happening with the woman, who was yelling and screaming while pushing.

"What's she doing?" Jahnavi asked a bit worried. "She's having a baby." She was intrigued. Kids love talking about babies. "Why is she yelling? Does it hurt?" Um, well..."Yes, the baby's coming out." Jahnavi's mouth was agape. "It's that big?!" "Yes, Honey." More fascinated viewing. "Where does the baby come out?" OK. That's enough. Not really ready to screw this talk up. "You'll have to ask your mother about that one, Sweety." She slid off the couch and marched right over to Vidula, who gave her an equally age-appropriate, matter-of-fact answer that seemed to satisfy. Problem solved!

Can't wait until she learns how to sneak out of her bedroom to watch True Blood with us, hidden behind the couch.

Party of no

2010-07-08T19:52:00.000-07:00

Jahnavi's Aaji and Ajoba came back from India today. They'd gone to attend Aditya Mama's wedding (congratulations, Aditya and Shilpa!) Sunu Maushi and Sahil Dada went, too, and on their way back to Seattle had a layover in Cincinnati, so they spent a few hours and saw the new digs over slices of Ramundo's pizza (super tasty and just around the corner). Always good to see them, which'll happen again in August when Minal Maushi and Stephen Kaka walk around the fire. After dinner, everyone left except me and Jahnavi. J had started Toy Story last night, so we thought we'd finish before bed tonight. After extracting a promise to listen without arguing once it was over, we sat down and had a good time.

Shortly after the credits is when the hell began. Tonight was rough; rougher than it's been in a while. She's become a one-girl party of no the past few weeks and I can only hope her stubbornness matures one day into a tenacity. Right now it's a pain in my ass. She made me so angry this evening, I reciprocated the feeling most literally. Makes me feel like crap afterward. And frustrated - after the shock and sting wear off, her behavior remains not just unmodified but entrenched, reinforced, bulwarked even. Time outs didn't work, either. Once I calmed down, I tried getting her to talk about her feelings, work through them. She was angry and wasn't giving that feeling up. I'm not sure what Vidula said to her, but finally she gave in and went to bed. The whole episode dragged on for nearly an hour until she finally succumbed to exhaustion, although she was already tired to begin with. An example of causa sui?

Waterday

2010-06-24T18:35:00.001-07:00

Today was water day at preschool (see photo). It was a good day for it, too; been hot the past few. She had fun as always, right up until lunch time. Then lack of appetite, sluggishness, and a need for napping arrived, topped off by fever. I left work a little early to bring her home. She looked haggard, but never dozed off in the car nor ceased telling me all about her day. Tylenol gave her back her appetite three fold resulting in her eating tons of watermelon and dahi-bhat (rice mixed with plain yogurt and toop, which is clarified butter). The girl eats as much as me some days. Preschool requires twenty-four hours fever-free, so she'll spend tomorrow at home with Mommy.

Torched-down Jesus

2010-06-23T19:07:00.000-07:00

Jahnavi will want to know about this when she's older.

From the NYTimes:

"A six-story statue of Jesus Christ was struck by lightning and burned to the ground, leaving only a blackened steel skeleton and pieces of foam that were scooped up by curious onlookers on Tuesday [of last week]. The “King of Kings” statue, one of southwest Ohio’s most familiar landmarks, had stood since 2004 at the evangelical Solid Rock Church along Interstate 75 in Monroe, just north of Cincinnati. Lightning set the statue ablaze around 11:15 p.m. Monday. The sculpture, about 62 feet tall and 40 feet wide at the base, showed Jesus from the torso up and was nicknamed Touchdown Jesus because of the way the arms were raised, similar to a referee signaling a touchdown. It was made of plastic foam and fiberglass over a steel frame, which is all that remained Tuesday."

Below is some "striking" footage of the event. Feel free to ignore the smug, inarticulate rantings of the fellow at the end of the video. Whether you agree or not, he's still annoyingly smug.

I don't know what this means for the church specifically or football generally, but I do know that it means until the 700, 000 estimated dollars are put forth to restore the statue, no one will be able to post fantastic photos like these:

Change you can name

2010-05-25T12:06:00.000-07:00

As I was gathering her stuff at preschool, Jahnavi was saying good bye to a friend who was just leaving.
"Good bye, Gwyny-Gwyn!" she called down the hall.
"Good bye, Jahnavi-Jahnavi!" came the response (perhaps better spelled 'Jahnavy-Jahnavi').
I didn't hear what her friend had called her, so I asked, but Jahnu was busy being unfocused and her head was turned, so I still didn't hear it.
"She called you what?" I asked. "Jahnu Iguana?"
"Nooooo! Jahnavy-Jahnavi."
I teased her. "But I liked 'Jahnu Iguana'."
Jahnu paused and thought about it, then said, "I'm Jahn-u-bama. Or you can call me 'President'."
A father can hope.

Party planning

2010-05-19T19:25:00.001-07:00

It was sprinkling as Jahnavi and I drove home from pre-school last week. "It's raining," I said. "No it's not," she argued back. "Look at the windshield," I instructed,"It's sprinkling." A pause. "You know what I'm going to have for my birthday party?" She's been planning each party since the end of the last one, a year and half running. "No, Honey. What?" "Purple cupcakes for everyone." Cupcakes? Ah, yes. "With sprinkles?" I asked. I understood her word association. "Uh huh. And everyone's going to have water, and milk and juice...and the grownups are going to have wine." I like her party planning.

India, Florida, apartment - Part One

2010-03-20T18:35:00.001-07:00

I seem to be waiting unusually long between posts. Jeez, over three months. I think I'll look into audio blogging in the future. Well, a lot has happened to blog about and the task has begun to feel almost insurmountable. I shall, however, attempt to surmount.

In January we went to India for three weeks. The trip was all too short and busy and now it’s over. It had some hefty downs but mostly ups. It was Jahnavi’s second trip, but the first she’ll remember. Let’s see what all happened…

The flight from Cincinnati to Newark was delayed because a plane had crashed on the runway. That slowed things down. Once we finally got there and boarded the direct flight to Mumbai, there was an excess of shuffling and moving around among the passengers, a la Indienne. Someone tried moving their luggage from the overhead compartment, but ended up dropping it instead on an unsuspecting head below. Funny, you might think, but it hurt enough that the person had to leave the airplane for medical treatment. OK, that actually is a bit funny, but the joke was on the rest of us as we had to wait at least an hour for the victim’s luggage to be located and retrieved from under the plane. Well, the hope was that’d be the last of the onboard shenanigans, but alas, no. The yahoo sitting in the aisle seat right in front of Vidula came aboard a little late and couldn’t find a place for his oversized bag, so he tried removing some sweet old lady’s purse, pulling it out and declaring to the plane at large that it was “garbage!” She was up on her feet in no time giving as good as she got. The attendants came and told him he’d have to move his bag to the front, but he wouldn’t. He wanted the old lady’s spot. Finally, Vidula looked him in the eye and told him in no uncertain terms what he needed to do. And he did (in retrospect, this was the beginning of her streak of fire to come). OK, so that was that, we thought. But it wasn’t. Next thing you know, he throws his seat back and wacks her in the knees. Vidula lets out a yowl and he gets all offended. The meals come and when the guy in front of him does the same, he actually wacks him on the back of the head, thus beginning a long but civil argument in Hindi. The attendants had just about had enough of him and let us know that they’d have him picked up by the police in Mumbai if he persisted in being disruptive. He was chewing paan, and kept getting up to go to the bathroom and spit. Must’ve been the stuff with nicotine, because he was antsy the entire 14-hour flight. Then he tries ordering whisky, but they don’t take cash, so he asks the fellow next to him to buy some with his credit card in return for cash. Powered by the paan, he proceeded to walk all around the cabin, asking random Indians on board first if they knew Hindi, then if they had a credit card. The flight attendants cut him off after the first whiskey. On the up side, he was pretty entertaining and the food we had was very tasty.

We arrived at the newly-renovated Mumbai airport late and tired, but it was nice. Mrudul and Sanjay, Vidula's cousins, came and picked us up. Jahnavi slept a few hours on the plane, which was possible for all of us because it was a direct flight, but she was out in the front seat before we got back to their place. Her Aji and Ajoba had already been there a week and were waiting for us.

It was great seeing Mrudul and Sanjay again, and their son, Atharva. What really surprised me was how well he and Jahnavi got along. There's a two-year difference between these only children, but he took care of her like a little sister. As a matter of fact, they didn't have their first argument for at least a week. He'd wash her hands and feet when they came back inside, loaned her his bike to ride to the little park down the street, and read books to her. It was the cutest damn thing.

Things picked up a bit after that first week. Minal Maushi and Stephen Kaka arrived, along with Stephens Aunt Stevie and his mother, who came a week later. Minal and Stephen are getting married this coming August and they decided to come to India when a largish portion of the family'd be there so they could have a Sakharpuda, or Indian engagement ceremony. There was a buzz of sari shopping and jewelry buying and lunch gatherings and venue viewings. The big day arrived and I intended to video tape it all, but these Indian ceremonies are a little short on ceremonialness sometimes, so I didn't realize it had started until it had ended and we were told to hit the food buffet. It was beautiful though. Minal and Stephen'll make a lovely and stylish bride and groom come summer.

That's enough for tonight. I'll upload pictures in the coming days and add more of our adventures in India, followed by a short trip to Florida, and our new apartment. I think I'll start next with our train misadventure to Mumbai...

Deer talk

2009-12-09T17:52:00.000-08:00

So this deer crashes through the window of the school where I teach, knocking into some chairs, wandering around the room scared, then slams itself into a couple more windows, smearing snout blood all over them. It had somehow gotten onto the University of Cincinnati campus and while trying to get back home, it must've seen sky and tree reflected from the class window. Poor thing was frightened and confused and did I mention bloody? I finally opened the doors and shooed it out, whereupon it ran next door and started slamming itself into another set of glass doors. I tried pointing it in the right direction, but since my silly hand signs went unheeded I got close enough to shoo it away again toward open space, staying clear as it darted past.

What was more interesting was that the following morning Jahnavi and I were sitting in the kitchen eating breakfast and I mentioned it to her. She thought it was interesting and contributed some to the conversation as well. Now, usually when I talk to her, there's a reason behind it. But that morning, I had no motive other than to have a conversation. It's something we really haven't done before, just sharing thoughts. I mean she often reports her daily doings, but I haven't. It was kinda cool.

Here're photos from our trip to Seattle.

Seeing Siyona and Sahil in Seattle

2009-11-14T16:05:00.000-08:00

So last year's birthday bash was a huge success, but perhaps it was too huge. Since we were leaving for Cincinnati only a couple weeks later (yes, that means we've been in Cincinnati for a year already), we made it a big party, inviting her friends, our friends, and renting a big inflatable jumper for the backyard (man! those things are a hoot!). Jahnavi'd been talking about what we'd do for her 4th birthday party since her 3rd ended. We didn't want to tell her that it was all downhill from here, so Vidula planned something a little more subdued but still high-quality for this year. We invited her friends, Ainsley and Ava, to come with us to see a children's theater production of Disney's Beauty and the Beast. It was fantastic! We primed her a week or two earlier with the soundtrack so she was ready for the music. Unfortunately, evil Disney hasn't released the DVD and it's not available either in stores or libraries or Netflix, so the story itself was a completely new experience. But the girls loved it and that was the important part. Ava's mother joined us, so it was an even three and three. After the show, we all went to Dewey's Pizza and met Ainsley's parents, Ava's father, and Jahnavi's Aaji and Ajoba. Good pizza, homemade cupcakes, and beer.

Now we're in Seattle this week and today is her cousin Siyona's birthday. That's right, she's hit the big 2.0. And only days after Vidula hit the big [personal information available only upon request]. Can you believe it? That old?! Siyona is so incredibly cute. Her feather-soft voice asking for raisins makes me want to go and plant a vineyard so I can dry the grapes for her. And then that scream of not getting any makes my blood curdle and produces a nearly irrepressible urge to run. Switch on, switch off. Such are the perils of toddlerdom. Last night was her birthday party and all three of the kids came away with some material lovelies. Happy, happy, happy.

Today, we're planning on visiting either the beach (a little cold), an island (a fun and potentially nap-inducing ferry ride to and fro), or a farmers' market. Let's see how the day turns out.

UPDATE: The beach was fantastic, and even though it was clouded over and very cold and humid, it was beautiful. Alki Beach is lovely. Now it's time to get ready for the flight home tomorrow. Pictures forthcoming.

Jahnavi turns four!

2009-10-15T17:28:00.000-07:00

And the day has finally arrived! Jahnavi's four! She's been very excited about it. Well, she was. She was also extremely tired and fell asleep while eating dinner this evening. She moved up to the Crocodiles who don't take naps, but she's been going to bed no earlier than 9:30 each night. The deficit of sleep finally caught up with her and she went out before 7pm.

The little girl got a lot of nice gifts today. The picture on the left is her new kitchen from her aji. She LOVES it (if you can't tell). There were several other gifts, like the microphone from her grandma (which plays Under the Sea over and over...thanks, Mom), a Belle from Beauty and the Beast from her Sudakar ajoba, and several clothes. I gave her a hug. What more does she need?

Her mother, aji, ajoba, and Sudakar adjoba brought a cake to the Crocodiles today. Since she wants to be dinosaur for Halloween, her mother thought a dinosaur cake would be appropriate and welcomed, which indeed it was. And it was yummy, too.

Saturday will be a lot of fun. Two of us (adults) and three of them (children). She'll have a great time.

I can't believe that she's four already. Vidula not only put together her kitchen while I was at work, she also put together Jahnavi's new booster seat for the car. She's outgrown her old car seat...the one she's had since she was only a few months old. Man.

Almost 4

2009-10-12T18:54:00.001-07:00

Oh, way too many months have passed and I haven't written anything. Bad daddy.

Too many little things have happened to catch up properly, so I'll just start from where we are now, which is a couple days before Jahnavi's 4th birthday. Wow. It'll be much lower-key than last year's shindig. She's moved up into a new class at pre-school (that's right, she's moved from Lizard to Crocodile), so we're planning on just bringing a cake to her and her new peeps Thursday. Saturday, however, her mother has planned a nice event: we're taking Jahnavi and her two friends, Ainsley and Ava, to a children's theater production of Beauty and the Beast. We've begun prepping her with the soundtrack already. Then afterward, the grandparents and the friends' parents will meet us for pizza. Another bouncer is years away.

Jahnavi's made some interesting developments. Tonight, for instance, she read me a story; something she made up while looking at blank paper decorated with a few scrawlings of her own. Interesting part was that she has a sound narrative structure: intro, characters, location, conflict, resolution (they lived happily ever after). She also did voices (at least for the monster knocking at the door).

Last Sunday she attended Marathi school for the first time; an hour and half of age-appropriate Marathi language instruction organized by the local Maharashtrian temple. Parents weren't allowed, so I just took a nap on the bench outside. Maybe next time I'll mingle with the other parents. I think they wondered why I was there; Jahnavi's practically alabaster compared to the rest of her classmates.

I'd noticed some curious development of her grammar a few weeks ago, but I've forgotten what it was and it's appeared to have disappeared. It seems that most everything is in place grammatically. She's now started asking what words mean as I read her bedtime stories to her. Pretty cool.

Up (and out and back again)

2009-06-29T19:35:00.001-07:00

Vidula and I decided we'd take the monkey to see a movie this weekend. What better than a Pixar 'tune, so we caught the late matinee of 'Up.' It's a sweet, sweet animated film about a curmudgeon, voiced expertly by Ed Asner, who floats his house to a far-off land with an excess of helium balloons after his beloved, adventurous wife passes on. Great story + great animation = great time, right? Well, Jahnavi's now at an age where she gets things, lots of things, so not only did the angry packs of dogs and the mean villain (voiced again expertly but by Christopher Plummer) scare her, so did scenes in which the heroes' lives were simply in peril, like when they were in danger of falling from a dirigible. Daddy's lap was no match for the menacing music, big, big screen, and darkness. Twice she pleaded, "Mommy, Daddy, I wanna go home." So out of the theater she and I went, to fetch a cookie or just look at the movie posters. Then back we'd go. Damned if I was going to let those CGI bullies defeat my little girl...or waste my money.

On the way home in the car, she said she liked the movie, she just didn't like the scary parts. When I put her down for the night, I went over it again, just to make sure she was at peace with the film and wouldn't have nightmares. When I asked her if she liked the movie, she said, "Yea, I liked it. But when the tractor hit the mailbox and he hit the man and there was blood...I didn't like that."

She was describing a scene in which a dump truck owned by the construction company that wanted to buy the curmudgeon's aging house to finish the skyscrapers going up all around, hit his mailbox. The mailbox was of particularly sentimental value for the old widower because he and his wife had painted it together as newly-weds. When the dump truck knocks it over, he comes out and angrily tries to shoo them away, but one of the construction workers felt bad and grabbed the mailbox, promising to fix it. They tussled with the mailbox for a few seconds, yanking it back and forth, until Karl (Asner's character) yells out "I don't want your help" and hits the worker on the head with his four-footed, tennis-balled walker, knocking him down and drawing blood. Then he ran back into his house, shaken, closed all the curtains and waited for the storm of legal action to come.

There was no menacing music, no evil animals or villains, just a very uncomfortable situation for all parties involved, ending in yelling and brief violence. That's what bothered her.

Despite Jahnavi's misgivings, I recommend the flick for adults and kids (perhaps a little bit older, or via Netflix when it's available).

Father's Day and Grandma's birthday

2009-06-21T20:33:00.001-07:00

Well, this is my fourth Father's Day and it was nice and relaxed. Vidula made blueberry and chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast after letting me sleep in this morning. Jahnavi'd been chomping at the bit to come and wake me up for hours, but she graciously held her back until nearly 10am. Lovely. After crawling atop her old man, J presented me with a card and a hug and a big kiss. Then she was done with me. The rest of the day was pretty laid back, although I'm a little disappointed I never got that nap in I was looking forward to.

In honor of what would have been Jahnavi's great grandmother's 88th birthday, I'm finally posting the remainder of my interview with her. Recap - back in March 1997, I set up a tape recorder (pre-digital), asked her a few questions and just let her ramble on. Altogether, Grandma talked about how she met Grandpa for about an hour. The tape's been converted to 7 mp3s. You can listen to the final episode via the blog by clicking over on the right, or you can click on 'Visit this podcast,' go to my podomatic site, and get all of them (which you can download. Each mp3 is about 7MB. Back in October, I'd only gotten the first 4 parts posted before we moved and then my computer crapped out. I now have a new computer and finally remembered. Enjoy.

Boston

2009-06-18T11:27:00.000-07:00

Oh, my, but it's already been nearly a month since we visited Boston to see little Sonali Baby. She's adorable and small and really small and I forgot how small babies can get. She's tiny. Healthy, normal, cute, small. OK, she's not unnaturally diminutive. She's really quite normal for the species. It's just that somehow, with the passing of only a couple years the experience of Jahnavi's infancy is a glossy but smudged memory. Seeing Sonali, hearing her cries (the few she uttered - good baby), and holding her felt at once oddly familiar and strangely alien...what was expected wasn't expected, if you get what I'm trying to say.

But Sonali is really just lovely and we had a good trip to see her, her parents, and her grandparents on both sides. Nikheel Mama and Michelle Maushi are doing well and housed us for the Memorial Day weekend trip. The occasion was Sonali's barsa or 'naming ceremony.' It's a Maharastrian tradition involving the grandparents, the parents, the baby (of course), lookers-on, and a lot of picking up and setting down of the kid. Toward the end, the mother whispers the baby's name to her. Then there's a lot of food and socializing.

Michelle's parents own a house in Cape Cod and generously gave us the key so we could spend our last night in Mass. near the surf (which Vidula badly wanted to see). It was a nice, sunny trip down. Most of the shops were closed for the holiday weekend, but we managed to find pizza and icecream that evening, after an afternoon of walking on the beach among the sand crabs. Even built a sandcastle.

All was well after the 'za and 'cecream, but then around 10pm, Jahnu started complaining about her ear. Mind you, she'd had a runny nose for several days prior to the trip, but wasn't feeling bad. Our lovely evening turned to a sleepless night of crying and screaming...enough crying that Jahnavi caused herself to throw up (first time for that one). Some time in the wee hours of the morning she finally fell asleep on the upstairs couch, perched atop her mother's chest. When the sun finally rose, we called Nikheel, who served as our ground control, scouting the Web for a local, open, pediatric clinic from Boston. They were a little laid back at the clinic, but having doctors in the family comes in handy: Vidula's mother tugged on the bonds of medicinal fraternity and persuaded the doctor to see our tired, hurting little girl before he clocked out for lunch. We gave her some antibiotic for her ear infection and took off for Logan Airport. We feared the worst on the flight, but she was a champ.

Last Friday, Jahnavi finally went off to play with the neighborhood kids. I'd tried getting to go, but she was always too shy and made me walk over with her and stay. I don't want to be one of those style-cramping parents. But last week, a group was gathered in front of a garage, bikes parked willy nilly at the foot of the drive way. She just stood outside our garage watching and listening for a while, itching to join in. I suggested she go - without me - and she walked all the way to the end of the driveway, but ultimately came back. After the third time, she decided she wanted to ride her bike. I caught on to her plan and I helped her over to the willy-nilly wheeled collection. She parked, dismounted, and ran up the hill to the other kids. They welcomed her immediately and took care of her, she being the youngest in the group.

What's odd is how I found myself welcoming the sadness of her increasing independance.

First bicycle

2009-05-14T09:54:00.001-07:00

Jahnavi got a bike about 2 weeks ago. For months, she's been saying - and completed unsolicitedly by anyone - that Aaji was going to buy her a bike. Apparently, Aaji was listening and finally decided now, with the warmer weather, was the time. We wanted to get her something that she can still grow into, not quickly grow out of. We just went to Toys-R-Us, which turned out to be a good thing. Another parent who was shopping for her own tyke had already scoured Amazon and other websites and found only 12" or 16" bikes available - the first too small, the second too big. But the big chain store carries the 14" middle size, which is perfect for our little monkey's legs. It's impossible to get a bike unadored by some logo. J's got Dora the Explorer in all her bilingual glory wrapped around each bar ("Amigos siempre!"). It's a nice red color, though.

Anyways, she loves her bike and wants to ride it every day, weather (and parents) permitting. We have to be there, of course, because we live on a hill. One wrong turn and she'd be a mess of blood, bruises, and bike parts at the bottom of the street. She'll only ride with her helmet on, which we only encourage. It actually saved her Kale-Coggins noggin on only day two. She turned a little too sharply and whoop! went right over. Her helmeted head bounced off the pavement like a basketball with baby fat - low to the ground and uncoordinated, but a bounce nonetheless. There was a lot of crying for about a minute, but with a quick hug and a head/limb check, she mounted up again and peddled off. With a few painful exceptions, she can steer fine, but her peddling leaves a lot to be desired. We have to do a lot of pushing up inclines along straightaways. She's still working on those leg muscles. And while being low to the ground makes falls a little less painful, it also puts a lot of distractions close to eye level. She keeps getting off and checking out earthworms and trash and dried dog poop, so her adventures are still pretty close to home.

The other weekend, I presented at a conference, having left early Saturday morning and not returning until after she'd gone to bed. She normally hates when I leave for work without telling her goodbye, but Vidula and I prepped her this time and she was fine. I went in to her room to kiss her on the forehead while she was presumably fast asleep, but she was still awake at 10:30pm. "Daddy, lay with me." I agreed on condition that she wait until I change out of the day clothes I'd been wearing since 5:30am. As I walked out of her bedroom to mine, she raised her head and asked in an oddly appropriate tone, "So, how'd it go?" I'm glad she's taken an interest in what her old man does.

Zoo and Farm

2009-04-11T19:40:00.000-07:00

So we went to the zoo today. It was a lovely day, not too hot or cold and the Easter bunny was rumored to be making an appearance. After the normal futzing and crying, we made it there about the same time as everyone else in the Greater Cincinnati/Tri-State area. Oi! The crowds! Mr. Bunny was sitting and posing with snotty-nosed tykes lined up back a half mile, starting at the entrance, but we strolled swiftly around, directly into the park. Luckily, Jahnavi wasn't so much into Easter, having been visited by said bunny at daycare on Thursday. Unexpectedly, we ran into her friend, Ainsley, and her parents and grandparents in the gift shop. But they were leaving as we were arriving, so the little girls said goodbye and we were on our way. Lions and tigers and bears...followed by gorillas and flamingos and pigs and goats and...the list goes on. It's a good zoo, and this season the tulips are in bloom. Bursts of beautiful colors exploding about the green lawns...loovleh. We polished off the afternoon with a visit to the elephants, then headed home to naps.

The weekend before we saw animals as well. The school I'm teaching at scheduled a trip to a local touristy farm, so we went. Turns out nearly the whole staff went as well as a large number of students and their small children as well. Jahnavi enjoyed playing with Vanessa, one coworker's 10-year-old daughter, who took her around to see some of the critters and things for a while.

Seems whenever it's daughter and daddy out for an adventure, some mishap befalls her. Last time, at the dinosaur exhibit, she fell on her head (i.e., I dropped her). This time, after successfully petting the goats and pigs, I let her grab some grass and feed the chickens (following the approval and encouragement of one of the farm workers, mind you). No sooner had she extended her green offerings through the chicken wire than those little peckers started greedily grabbing at all they could. Like they don't get enough grass... they arrived at the fence in a swarm of feathers, wildly pecking away at anything that promised to satiate some rapaciousness deep in their gizzards. It occurred to me that I should tell Jahnavi to back away, but I was too late. Before her last blade of grass had been devoured by a blur of beaks, her finger got pecked. She dropped the remaining grass and hurriedly backed away, then, gaining her bearings, shuffled quickly up to me. Tears filling her eyes, she looked up and said, "I wanna go home now." Great, Dad. Did it again. I whisked her away to a portable sink and washed the owie with soap and water. Damn thing kept bleeding for a while because it was right on a knuckle. But soon Vanessa came over, took her by the hand, and began showing her things around the farm she hadn't noticed before. Without realizing it, she started feeling better, and when they finally came back, she'd already decided to stay.

Jahnavi's added relative clauses to her syntactic repertoire; the one I just recently noticed being, "This is for anyone who wants to have it." Vidula was away in Minneapolis for a week and the first thing she noticed when she got back was an obvious uptick in her daughter's verbal skills, both in terms of vocabulary and articulateness. This morning I sat her at the breakfast table and she said, "Daddy, would you..." She paused to think of the words, but I didn't give her any time to finish and jokingly interrupted with, "Yea, I might do it." Another pause. "What will you do?" Looks like she's wise to me now. She recognized that my words didn't match the conversation and asked the right question. Huh. The other day in the car, she asked how far away our home is. "Oh, it's not far." "No," she corrected,"not Aaji's home, our home." I thought about it. "You mean our home in St. Paul?" "Yea." Later I answered another question about what I thought was regarding our place in Minnesota and she stopped to correct me again, "No, Aaji's house." She's finally at the age where she's determining speaker intent. That's pretty cool. I had no idea it starts that early in child language development and cognition.

Dinosaurs and Ponies

2009-03-28T18:30:00.000-07:00

Last weekend we went to the Cincinnati Museum Center for the Dinosaurs Unearthed! exhibition. They've got the town canvased with billboards of giant tyrannosaurus rexes and triceratops, and you know how kids love dinosaurs (Barney be damned!). So when the school I'm teaching at decided to schedule a Saturday outing for the students, I thought it a good opportunity to get her close to those beasties from the past. Sure, I thought it might be a little scary, but I invited her best friend, Ainsley, and her parents to come along. "Jahnavi," I said, "you've got to make sure that Ainsley isn't scared." Thought it'd work.

So we picked up some students and met Ainsley and her father, Brian, at the museum. It's a really cool place (we're already members) and the girls were terribly excited to see the big ol' lizards. When it was finally our time to go in, we dads tried reprepping out kids by telling them that it was all pretend. Ainsley was a little anxious, but seemed to really like it. Jahnavi, on the other hand, preferred to climb on to my back and bury her face in my neck. That was OK at first, but I brought along a bag with snacks, which I put our jackets into, and then, of course, I whipped out the camera (the results of which you can find here). Then I saw that the dinosaurs' arms, legs, tails, and heads could be controlled from a panel with buttons (and you know how kids love buttons). I thought that if Jahnavi could see she could control them, she'd be a little less afraid. So I tried to move her from back to hip, but there was that bag and the camera and she was distracted by the roars of plastic prehistoric beasties and wasn't really hanging on right. That's when she fell straight onto her head with a loud boom. That ruined the mood. The boom was loud enough to bring some good Samaritans over who helped me pick up whatever I dropped along with the kid. Too many people, too many lizards, loud roars, big teeth. We just rushed out of the main hall. The last area was smaller and so were the dinosaurs, so I just sat down and put her in my lap. From our position of safety I pointed out the ones with little teeth, the ones with feathers, the small size of their feet, and within a few minutes, she started liking the exhibit again. When Ainsley and Brian came our way, they sat too. Pretty soon, they were both having fun again. Complete disaster averted.

Finally, out of the darkness of the Cretaceous Period and into the light of the gift shop. The girls ran around and looked at the books and toys. Jahnavi found a cute, soft, fluffy, blue dinosaur that she wanted. Fine. But it was the last one and Ainsley, who now wanted one too, had to look for something else. Off she went and returned with one of those tiny, plastic dinosaur heads attached to a stick with a trigger handle that can open and close the jaws. In a heart beat, Jahnnavi dropped her fluffy, blue toy and went after her own hard plastic dinosaur. Fine, I guess.

Then came meals and talk. The girls ate exactly the same thing (mac-n-cheese) and had a great time (and the dads did, too). She napped on the ride home.

This weekend, her school, Goddard, had an open house spring fling with games, art, pony rides, and a petting zoo (and of course, we brought the camera). Per usual, Jahnavi was uber-excited to go and really wanted to ride a pony (the promise of which we used to keep her in bed last night). But once we got there, per usual, she practically hid herself in our knees. Seems big crowds just shut her down. Once the people thinned, she opened up and started having fun. Of course Ainsley arrived with her parents and the two girls were running around for a large portion of the time. She was afraid of riding the pony until Ainsley did, and then later rode two more times, the last two without me holding her hand. Ponied ridden and faces painted (both girls with rainbows on their cheeks), we called it an afternoon and came home.

Listening to her language is always interesting. There was that 'her/she' thing. Now she's been adding '-ed' to words that already get just '-d' or -'t' in the regular past tense (e.g., 'buzzed' or 'kissed'), turning them into 'buzded' and 'kisted.' Minor, but interesting.

Some pictures and things

2009-03-09T11:25:00.000-07:00

So, things have finally gotten to a manageable level around here. Jahnavi's Aaji and Ajoba returned from India a week ago. Next trip for them - Seattle. Jahnavi'd love to go see her cousins, Sahil and Siyona, who she talks about incessantly. We've almost convinced her that there's simply no room in the luggage for her this time. Now she's insisting that Aaji and Ajoba are going to take her to India next time, but there's no room for Mommy and Daddy. Come to think of it, that doesn't sound so bad.

So many little things have happened that I haven't blogged about and now I can't remember a one. Let's think...interesting language thing: she had been say "her" in place of "she" for a month or two, but then her friend, Ainsley from day care, came over with her parents. We mentioned it once in front of the two of them, and she stopped. She's become increasingly willfull the past week. Last two nights were difficult to get her to sleep, but she finally did. What else...she can just about spell her name; now if only she'd show some interest. Oh, well. She'll get there at her own pace (maybe a little faster with help and strong encouragement...can we use guilt at this age, you think?).

Things are much more positive around here now that Vidula found out that she's not losing her job. Her company cut around 10% of the work force and no one knew who was getting axed until a week ago. Lost some good people, though.

Random transition - Here are some photos from our Florida trip this past January as promised.

January 2009 Florida

A bit busy lately

2009-02-23T20:24:00.000-08:00

OK. It's been busy here since we got back from Florida. I should just take a moment to let anyone still reading this know that we're all still alive, despite the frigid temps and loads of ice and snow (although Cincinnati is in no way as bad as Minnesota).

Florida was really good. Jahnavi and I stayed with Uncle Bud and Aunt Linda and saw her Grandma every day. Uncle Bud loved playing with her so much (Jahnavi, not her Grandma) that I almost feel Vidula and I should have another one for him. Photos forthcoming. Vidula was in Minneapolis and Jahnavi's Aaji and Ajoba left for India the same week. We've been here in Cincy just the three of us since returning, but her grandparents are due to come home in less than a week.

Man, so much to write. I'll have find more time later, especially once I finally get settled on a computer that doesn't crap out on me.

Catch up

2009-01-10T19:29:00.000-08:00

It's been a while with no postings or photos or videos. Ever since my laptop went out (think again if you're considering buying an HP Pavilion), I haven't had the resources to get the digital funk out. Time and patience...

Lots of things've happened and are happening. I'll try to recount below, albeit with little organization.

Over the holidays, Sunila maushi, Christian kaka, Sahil dada and Siyona baby arrived on their way back to Seattle after spending four months doing research in India. Minal maushi and Stephen kaka breezed in from NYC as well. Needless to say, it was a crowded house. Those little ones, especially, consume disproportionately grand amounts of time, energy, and attention. But it was good to spend time with them all. Jahnavi had a blast running around after Sahil. She was a good older sister (well, cousin) to Siyona; she'd block the stairwell with her body to keep her from toddling up and hurting herself. Siyona just turned one in November, and having spent a large percentage of her life so far in India, she only understands Marathi. Jahnavi picked up on that fact and pretty soon was talking to her in limited Marathi herself - Nako! (Don't!), Bagh he! (Look at this!, only with English word order), Nahi! (No!), and Bas! (Sit!). Except for when she and Sahil were putting Siyona 'in jail' in the basement or leading her around with a belt tied around her neck, she treated her exceptionally well.

When they left, Jahnavi, as before, decided to adopt some of the more sophisticated measures of defiance that she'd observed in her older cousin. Not that she wouldn't have gotten there herself in the near future, but it just sort of came on like a wild fire. She's been difficult during the times when you'd expect for a three-year-old, but it's especially bad at bedtime. As that time approaches, her propensity to cry, whine, scream, get angry, throw things, and say no to everything (even the things she originally wanted!) surpasses my ability to be patient more often than I'd like to admit. Time-outs work only so much and corporal punish, not at all. What seems to work best, I was surprised to learn, is to ignore. We (try to) deal with the emotions (of which she has little control) first and the behavior second when she's in a long-term meltdown.

Next week should be fun, but also a lot of work. She and I are going to Florida. It's been over a year since she's seen her Grandma (and aunt, uncle, and cousins). Vidula has a business trip to be on back in Minneapolis (where the weather is prognosticated at single, negative-digit highs for a couple days) and her parents will be off on their annual trip to Mother India. Good thing we have that portable DVD player.

Post-Christmas Posting

2008-12-26T13:05:00.000-08:00

Twas the day after Christmas
And all through the house,
Not a Kale was stirring,
Not the rest nor my spouse,

The stockings were empty,
Rifled through without care,
The lie that we told
Was St. Nick had been there,

And the presents unwrapped,
Their contents now certain,
Have been played with in bathtubs,
Behind shower curtains.

An exhausting affair,
Marked by much joyous laughter,
But coming right down to it,
That's what we were after.

Still the need for a nap,
Irresistible now,
Has overcome most
But your blogger somehow.

Although it was just
Children’s laughter we sought,
We got more than we bargained:
They screamed and they fought.

Not the whole time, of course,
It’s just what children do,
Somewhere between ages,
Of four, three, and two.

But the tears were short-lived,
And the giggles pervasive,
We tried discipline,
But the children were suasive.

We let them stay up,
More than maybe we should.
But they let us sleep in,
Like we knew that they would.

Except for Siyona,
Whose sweet little cry,
Could pry open even,
A solid-shut eye.

Sahil and Jahnu,
They both shared a room,
Until laughter and giggling
Reached too much volume.

Now it seems all three kids,
and their parents and such,
Have slept themselves out.
Time to get back in touch,

And bring this blog posting
To a tied-neat finale,
Merry Christmas to all,
Cogginses, Novetzkes, and Kales.

Santa Claus is not a skunk

2008-12-01T07:55:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving at the Kales' was festive and tasty. Hardas Uncle and Asha Auntie came over as did some Maharashtran grad students from U of Cincinnati. No turkey, no tofu, and certainly no tofurkey (abomination!), just some seriously good home-cooked Indian eats, followed by pumpkin pie with whipped cream.

Friday evening we took Jahnavi to Light Up the Tree in downtown Cincinnati. Local-born celeb Nick Lachay was there dressed as Santa Claus (you know, that guy that married that singer with the SNL lip-syncking sister and was on a reality show about their marriage, but later bitterly divorced her and is now doing AT&T Christmas ads dressed as St. Nick? Yea, him.) Jahnavi liked watching him ice skate, but didn't like the skunk mascot that walked past us (some guy in a skunk suit, of course, but I don't know what he was representing). And then the fireworks went off. Pretty deafening, what with the bombs bursting in air and echoing off the buildings (it was downtown, after all). We three had to scurry inside Macy's to escape the noise. J was awfully unhappy until we got in the car, and then, just as her mother predicted, she talked and talked and talked about it the whole ride home, and then again to her Aaji and Ajoba. "I love Santa Claus. Do you love Santa Claus, Daddy? I love Christmas trees. Do you love Christmas trees, Mommy? We saw a skunk. I didn't like the skunk. Santa Claus is not a skunk." The insightful observations were unceasing.

Saturday night there was a party with the local Maharashtran coterie. Lots of kids J's age so she had a pretty good time running and playing and screaming.

Naps this weekend were thrown off by all the late-night partying, combined with her new delaying tactics. The other day she managed to get up three times in a row for potty breaks. And it's not like she didn't produce anything. Somehow, she strategically saved up for later use. Frustrating.

Last night while we were all eating dinner, she farted (man, she's gonna kill me in a few years for writing this stuff). She cocked her head and grinned deviously. "I farted!" We all managed to subdue our laughter; didn't want to egg her on. "Oh. Where did that come from?" I ask, thinking I'm putting her on the spot, expecting a response like I did it! or It was me! Nope. "From my butt!" Hard to subdue the laughter after that, and since she saw she had a good thing going, she promptly repeated the punchline three more times.

Mommy's birthday

2008-11-11T13:34:00.000-08:00

A little sickly
Jahnavi's first day at her new school was good; took about 30 minutes for her to adjust. Day two took about 5 minutes and the third took even less. That was Wed-Fri of last week. We'll have to wait and see how consistent that upward trajectory is - she's been home sick for the past two days. Man, it's always something. She'd been sporting a temperature since Sunday evening, but it cleared up this morning and her 48-hour spell of not eating or drinking came to a 3-bowl cheerios conclusion.

Mommy's birthday
Today, she's been liberally wishing her mother happy birthday since she came to our bed in the early hours this morning. Me, a little less liberally, but heartfelt nonetheless.

Here are some pics from her new daycare.

Rocco Bama wins! (and other dramatic events)

2008-11-05T17:56:00.001-08:00

A lot has happened in the past couple weeks. Two weeks ago, your humble blogger passed his MA defense. A few thesis revisions and it's done. Last week, we moved to Cincinnati. That took a lot longer than we thought it would. And then last night, Barack Obama won the presidential election (or as Jahnavi calls him, 'Rocco Bama.')

The Move

We planned on leaving at least two weeks ago, but once the economy tanked and no buyers were knocking on the door, we realized we'd have to rent and wait it out or lose tens of thousands of dollars. That meant we had to pack everything now and arrange to move it all to Cincy earlier than planned (we'd planned to keep most of stuff in storage in MN until the house sold). Found a property management company to market and mediate, then a mover to come and get our crap. There're a lot of scammers out there, but we found the least scammy. I say 'least' because there were tons of last-minute charges we were in no position to argue against - something they ostensibly count on. Plus the movers came 24 hours later than expected. We wanted to leave Wednesday and arrive in time for me to present at the Ohio TESOL conference in Columbus, but we got here Halloween night Friday. Jahnavi missed her first outing for candy, but had her butterfly costume all ready, so we just let her flit around her Aaji and Ajoba's house until bed. Uncles Rob and Aaron housed us Wed and Thurs and I don't know what we would've done without them.

But we're here now and our stuff arrived last night. Unfortunately, they lost none of it in transit. We've gotta get rid of some of our crap (which we thought we did leading up to the move, but clearly not enough). We're settling in with Vidula's parents for a while before finding a place of our own. Vidula's telecommuting for the same company she's been with and I'm searching for an ESL teaching position. Jahnavi started her first day at the new school today. At first she was shy and didn't want to talk to anyone. But as soon as they started with art (paper, glue, and grass) and she was back in her element. We'd been prepping her for some time and she was excited to make new friends. Even the teachers were surprised at how well she adjusted in just a few hours, talking up a storm with the kids and new teachers alike. That's my girl.

She's really happy to be staying with her Aaji and Ajoba, and considering the size of disruption to her life, the little monkey is handling it all quite well. Oh, there've been a few exceptions, like the other night when she came all the way downstairs after nearly an hour in bed to shrug her shoulders and matter-of-factly state, "I'm not tired." She never did that in MN. And the lack of structure these past few days while we found a good school for her has led to some unexpected meltdowns. But she's three (as she's fond of announcing with a grin and a proud tri-digit display), so we're mostly OK with that. Good for all of us that she's in daycare, though.

Rocco

While I'm exceedingly happy that Jahnu's first day at the new school went so swimmingly (note to self: look into continuing her swimming lessons), I'm overjoyed by the fact that she'll grow up with an African American president in the White House (hopefully for the next eight years), never having known anything else. I don't want to wait so long that she's the first woman president, but her being the second or third would be quite acceptable.

Birthday Shindiggery

The move and nascent problems with the good pc have slowed down posting of photos and video of the big birthday bash a couple weeks ago. In the meanwhile, here are some excellent photos from her friend Neel's dad - Bday pics.

Boring, but notable

She's crossed the language barrier with regard to question forming. The week we moved, I heard her front a modal ('Can you help me?') and she started using 'do' to form other questions ('Do you want to come play with me, Daddy?'). She's been using 'do' for negatives ('Don't do that!'), but now she's hung up on negative questions ('Do you don't want to go?').

Grandma's Interview

The aforementioned pc problems have alerted me to the necessities of backing up, and paying attention to what I've backed up and what I haven't. I don't have access to the rest of the interview mp3 right now, so the remaining three segments will be forthcoming, once I've hashed things out with HP. Argh.

Jahnavi turns three

2008-10-16T10:59:00.000-07:00

Jahnavi's third birthday has come and gone. Can't believe it was three years ago; didn't even know if she was a boy or girl, let alone how lovely and sweet she'd be... We brought a cake and party favors so she could celebrate her special day with her friends at daycare. They let her wear a crown all day, which she loved, of course (oh, all that attention!).

Not much to say, really, so here's a video which can speak for itself.

Here's another video of her singing and dancing to her current favorite songs.

How 'bout them apples?

2008-10-14T11:27:00.000-07:00

We spent the last warm weekend of the year apple picking. Found a place not too far from here that had orchards, pumpkin patches, raspberries, a petting zoo, a corn maze, and hay rides. Faaaarm livin’ is the life for me....The fresh air, the sun, the open spaces...and the Asian lady beetles, the crowds, and the hoards of screaming kids. I suppose the acres were a little greener in my imagination, but it was still a lot of frakking fun, so say we all. Jahnavi got to see and sample apples pressed into fresh cider, play on a large, wooden playground, approach the farm animals (she refused to pet them), and ride the hay ride, which was oddly not as much relaxing as it was a practical form of transportation for the mobs of apple pickers. She also rode a cow – a metal barrel made to look like a cow, which was one of ten or so strung together behind a tractor; great fun for the kids. She was feeling a little under the weather, much like last year, sporting a low-grade temp for most of the weekend. Sunday, she and I took a long nap and she feels much better. Not so much for me, though. I’m finishing up a cold virus I strongly suspect she was harboring.

Yesterday was Columbus Day (why do we celebrate this?), in-service day at daycare (meaning it was closed), and her father’s birthday, so we both spent the whole day together, celebrating. First a brunch at a greasy spoon around the block I’ve wanted to visit for the past two years, then our last romp at Nickelodeon Universe at MOA. When she wasn’t throwing tantrums (like when I turned off the morning cartoons or we ran out of tickets and had to leave the rides) she was absolutely adorable; must’ve said, “Happy birthday, Daddy!” 25 times or more. All in all, she was a good little girl and except for when I was yelling, I was extremely happy.

Interestingly, after we finished the rides and sat down on a bench to share a smoothie (she’d only eaten a very large pancake that morning and I felt the need to get at least a facsimile of something healthy into her), I couldn’t help but notice a strapping young man in business casual walk past us. Nice slacks, tucked-in long-sleeve button-down shirt, and moussed hair, but what caught my eye wasn’t his fashion, per se, but rather the clear plastic ear piece attached to a coiled wire sticking out from under his collar. He sauntered purposefully past, peeping momentarily into the trash can next to us, then moved on to another one. I was on the phone with a friend at that moment and started describing this strange fellow, just as I saw another one peering into our trash can before moving onto the next. Number Two appeared to be repressing a boyish grin, so I’m guessing he overheard my description of his friend. Vidula finally put it together when we got home – Michelle Obama was speaking in St. Paul a few hours later and must have wanted to do some shopping. Wow. Real secret service dudes. Cool.

Tomorrow’s the little monkey’s birthday: the big three. We’re bringing a cake and trinkets to daycare tomorrow afternoon so she can celebrate good times with her peeps, ostensibly the last time before she never, ever sees them again (we leave before month’s end). Then this Saturday we have a host of kids coming over, ranging in age from 3 to 10. That’ll be interesting. But we’re blowing the roof off on this one – we’re renting a bouncer for the backyard (weather, please cooperate). Now we just need some more games and options...the kids must have options...The uncles et al will come later in the evening.

Oh, yesterday we were playing games on SesameStreet.org. Not only can she detect a range of patterns, she can identify a good couple letters (e.g., w and j), as well as at least the number three. She’s getting better at counting objects up to 20. Plus she already knows both her birth month and day. Ah, yes, the parental pride that accompanies a child’s every small accomplishment.

Part Three of the interview with Jahnavi’s great grandmother is up, so click and enjoy.

Green grass and chocolate bananas

2008-10-07T07:44:00.000-07:00

This past weekend was pretty cool. Vidula had to attend a wedding in Cincinnati, so it was just me and the monkey for a couple days. Saturday we spent the day with Uncle Joel and his son, Ethan. They came over and then we all took off for Como Zoo. Ethan's seven, but he and Jahnavi got along famously. Normally, Jahnavi is shy and reticent with new people for an hour or more, but with them, she started excitedly describing everything in the house within 15 minutes. His first time over, I gave Joel a tour of our home-for-sale. When we got to J's room, she came upstairs and started talking about her bookshelf and the books and her bed and her toys and her window and...well, she went on and on. Don't know where she gets it from. Here are some photos from our adventure. It was a beautiful day (hopefully not the last before winter sets in), and we probably spent more time rolling in the green grass then visiting animals. After the zoo, we walked over to Como Town for rides. I had a headache from the teacups for about 12 hours, but it was fun.

Next day, Uncle Chauncey came over to babysit while I got work done on my thesis (which I should be working on right now, by the way). My first mistake was not leaving the house. She loves her uncle, but wanted Daddy's attention. She kept making her way down into the basement and into my office. I ultimately got some work done, but it took some work to work. Chauncey kept her occupied for quite a while and even fried up some bananas in chocolate while they watched Curious George, the movie. At one point, she decided that she didn't like Uncle Chauncey. I was heart broken, and confused. Chauncey understood, though. She was crying (for some reason) and he tried to hold her to get her to stop. She didn't like that and got mad, but she couldn't express her emotions. All of us sitting on the couch, he said out loud what she was feeling and why, in words that she understood. What was amazing, though, was that a little while later, before she'd forgiven him, when asked she told me how she was feeling and why, paraphrasing what Chauncey had said. He gave her the words to express her feelings, and in the end they made up.

I'm a little late posting the second installment of the interview with Jahnavi's great grandma. Please take a listen to Episode II, over there on the right.

Hives and Interview

2008-10-01T08:16:00.000-07:00

Hive minding

Day three of the hives. We don't know why. She came home from school Monday with them, but they didn't itch and didn't affect her behavior. We gave her Children's Benedryl that night before bed and when we checked a few hours later, she was sleeping blotchlessly. But they came back the next morning, so we took her to the pediatrician. She was hyper-clingy and blotchful until about halfway there. By the time the doctor saw us, her hives had nearly cleared up entirely, she was talkative and playful. But they came back yesterday afternoon, clearing up a few hours later, then coming back again before bed. Benedryl worked its magic again last night, but she woke up at 5:30 this morning, happy and lively but itching... until they went away again on their own, but for only a couple hours. It's all over her - face, hands, belly, back, legs, feet. The feet and hands seem to be the itchy areas. Breaks my heart to see her tiny beauty marred by splotchery. We authorized day care to give her Benedryl before naptime.

Vidula's mother thinks it could be a delayed reaction to the new multi-vitamins she's been taking the past couple weeks. She remembers something similar happening to Vidula and her sister when they were around the same age. She really loves her little Gummi Bear-shaped chewables, but we're going to have to cut her off. I'll check the ingredients. I hope it this batch wasn't made in China.

Interview with the retired

If you haven't already noticed, in the side bar to the right there's a new embedded media player. This is the first episode in a series in honor of Dorothy Davis, Jahnavi's great grandmother, who passed away a year ago this week. They're segments of a tape-recorded interview I conducted over 11 years ago. Originally, I had given my grandmother a book called "Grandma, Tell Me Your Memories". She 'd only gotten around to filling out a couple pages, so we used her answers as a jumping-off point. Grandma liked to talk about the old days.

Each segment is between 7 and 8 minutes, in MP3 format sized between 6.54 and 8.28MB. You can download them if you like. It's all part of a single interview session lasting nearly an hour, which was kinda big for one file. If you have problems, leave a comment or shoot an email.

First pun

2008-09-28T18:37:00.000-07:00

So we're sitting and eating dinner this evening, listening to the radio show Sound Opinions on MPR (Minnesota Public Radio, the local NPR affiliate). Jahnavi is eating pasta and beets (separately - what are we? animals?) and spears a couple beet bites with her fork. Then she raises them in the air and says, "I got beet up." She can see the puzzled looks on our faces, so she says again, smiling, "You wanna get beet up?" Oh, my god. It's her first pun. She does carry my genes. Then, as we're listening to the radio show, one of the hosts mentions the recent passing of Pink Floyd keyboardist, Richard Wright. Terribly sad. They play a track from Floyd's 1970 album, Atom Heart Mother (note: this last link is really only of interest to fans of the band, et aussi peut être sera un peu intéressant pour nos amis francophones). Jahnavi, further proving my point about progeny, starts rocking out at the dinner table. The girl already likes Pink Floyd and she's not even three. A father couldn't be happier.

Other linguistic observations: just this evening I noticed she's stopped saying, "I don't want something" meaning she wants nothing, and has begun the more grammatical, "I don't want anything." Big jump for a tiny person. Still waiting for verb-fronting in questions ("He is here?" turning into, "Is he here?"). She also stopped putting 'my' before 'daddy' and 'mommy' a while ago. Used to be, "Come here, my daddy." Come to think of it, she leaves out the 'daddy' whenever she orders me around now.

Go Twins!

2008-09-27T09:11:00.000-07:00

Nearly everyday, after I pick Jahnavi up from daycare and we head downtown to pick up Vidula, we pass the HHH Metrodome, home (currently) to Vikings games, Gophers games, Twins games and monster truck rallies. And nearly everyday, Jahnavi reminds me that we saw a baseball game there a couple months ago and she really wants to go again. Since the last home games for our esteemed baseball franchise were last week, Vidula suggested we go (while she attended a happy hour). So we went. I didn't expect to stay very long, based on the last time; she petered out pretty quickly that first game and we were on our way home by 7pm. Not this time. She could've stayed all night.
Seriously, the little girl was in her element, in some odd fashion. I say 'odd' because neither of her parents watch sports. Well, Vidula played soccer and field hockey in high school, but marching band was my only sport (Go band geeks!). Jahnavi loved it though, and was extremely well-behaved.

We started the evening with a falafel sandwich, which she at least tried before spitting out into my hand. Turned out to be a bad idea. We didn't really have much time for another meal by then before we had to hop back on the bike (I'll have to show you the cool seat Vidula got for her last Christmas) and head to the game, so she just had
pita bread slathered in ketchup. And that only went down with the promise of some ice cream. It was a pretty nutrition-free evening, considering that her biggest meal consisted of half a bag of popcorn. She doesn't understand the game (any more than I do, I suppose), but she does know most of the words to "Take Me out to the Ball Game" and I'm sure I heard her taunt the pitcher at one point ("Hey! Pitcher!").

Here's a photo of us in the stands (cheap seats, nosebleed section). The red band aid was covering an owie she got landing on her face outside of daycare the other day. She normally doesn't resemble Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (it's better now).

Oh, I think the Twins won against the White Sox.

A couple things happening in Jahnavi's soon-to-be-ex-hometown

2008-09-24T11:15:00.000-07:00

1) The new 35W bridge spanning the Mississippi is open, just a little over a year since the old one collapsed, killing 13 and prompting the close of Jahnavi's old daycare, which was located only about 100 ft. away. Here are some photos of the old bridge, the collapse, and the shiny, white new construction.

It was really quite as traumatic as it was dramatic, clearly for the victims, dead and wounded, but also for the rest of the Twin Cities. Aside from the major inconvenience of making travel into and through downtown Minneapolis slow and confused for months, our whole sense of stability and security was shaken. Every bridge in the state has now been gone over with combs of fine teeth, some of which the government's closed, others have had their traffic flow restricted until repairs can be effected. Glad I can swim.

Here're some vids, one from the collapse, taken by the Army Corps of Engineers camera positioned on the lock nearby, and one taken from a nearby MNDOT cam.

And here's a video of the opening of the shiny, new bridge from last week (which I didn't know how to embed).

New 35W Bridge Opening

2) The other happening: Jahnavi's mom and uncle found fame at a downtown Obama rally!

(click on the campaign button)

The blanket is NOT working!

2008-09-13T19:52:00.000-07:00

When we got back from Cincinnati things got interesting both with her tantrums and her language.

Jahnavi went a little crazy in Cincinnati, intensifying her tantrums and screaming like she’d never done before. She fiercely resisted going potty nearly every time we wanted her try after her Sahil dada left for India. As you’d expect before all the last-minute chaos leading up to a 4-month trip overseas produces, he himself had a couple of incidents. This time, after the Kale-Novetzkes took off, it seemed Jahnavi decided to adopt a more sophisticated style of tantrum. Her conniptions seemed to clear up somewhat when we got back, but they didn’t exactly cease, although they became fewer and shorter once she stopped being sick and got caught up on sleep.

But now she’s become one of those kids. She used to have a predictably dichotomous personality – one face for us (demon) and another out in public (angel). We think that the back-to-back-to-back social events at the end of last month provided the opportunity for her demon to break through to the other side. She no longer hesitates to throw herself on the floor of Target or even the Mall of America and conduct a hissy fit replete with screams and flailing appendages.

It’s not all bad, and actually some pretty good things’ve been happening. Often, soon after spending time with Sahil, Jahnavi makes a leap, and this time has been no exception. Within only the last week or so, she’s started going days in a row accident-free. We’re ecstatic. Little-to-no fussing when we ask her to go, and more and more often she either tells us or just sets out for the potty on her own to do her thing. Hurray!

She’s also made strides in her language, although more and more it's how she uses it rather than what words or syntax she’s mastered. She’s learning manners and becoming an expert at pragmatics beyond what we (or daycare) could possibly teach her. I’d love to detail all of the things that she notices and remembers and brings up at pragmatically and socially appropriate moments, but their fleeting and manifold nature make keeping mental notes difficult (I know, like this blog isn’t enough of a running inventory of her development and accomplishments). Maybe the best way to put it is that, with obvious limitations, she interacts on a human level now. I just have a hard time believing that crying and pooping sack of flour from nearly three years ago can do that.

She knows that she has to stay in bed if she’s going to get to watch cartoons in the morning. Unfortunately, she tries to keep us in her room as long as possible and delay going to sleep. The latest tactic has been to scream from her bed, “My blanket is noooot working!” Not exactly sure where that comes from or even what it means, but it requires that one of us return upstairs after saying goodnight and cover her again. Now we just ignore her and she gives up after 10-20 minutes, but when we’d huff back into her room to tell her to be still, she’d present her blanket problem and then ask, “I still watch TV?”

Her artistry has improved. Today she brought us a crayon drawing and said, “This is our car.” Sure enough, it really looked like a Prius with a bike rack on the back. Too bad our car isn’t actually violet purple.

There’s a for-sale sign in our front yard as of today. Finally told our neighbors, too. Not expecting tens of potential buyers tossing competing offers at us right away, but one must dream, mustn’t one? Gonna miss this house.

Labor Day we went to the Mall of America’s Nickelodeon Universe (the park) for probably the last time. Some photos…

Midwest Bonanza

2008-09-03T11:24:00.000-07:00

Here are some more shots from the recent adventure to Cincinnati.
(Thanks, Minal Maushi.)

Parties, dances, a wedding, and a move

2008-08-23T20:52:00.000-07:00

It’s been a busy couple of weeks for Jahnavi and her parents. Nearly two weekends ago, the Summer Intensive English Program I was teaching in held its end-of-semester potluck and square dance (that’s right, a square dance) and Jahnavi and I attended (Vidula stayed home). Since this was the art form that brought my parents together some 40 years ago, I thought Jahnu should gain some exposure to that part of her cultural heritage. Turns out she enjoyed it, too. The little girl loves to dance. As soon as the chairs were moved to make way for dancing and ambient music starting piping in, she was out on the floor getting her boogie on. When the eating was finished, the square dancing began. There were too many strangers for her to feel comfortable dancing with anyone but her father, so she attached herself to my hip and we hoofed around the quadrangle together like a two-headed, hoe-downing beast. She and I (especially the ‘I’ part) were exhausted after the first round and sat out the second. I thought we’d be heading home shortly after, but as soon as the main event ended and the ambient music returned, she was out on the dance floor all by herself, movin’ and groovin’, although at this age it’s mostly jumpin’ and shakin’.

The following evening we three went over to Amber and Dave’s. Large party, but extremely laid back. Uncles Shawn and Kirk were in town (the Minnie Apple) from NYC (the Bigger version), so it was a good reason for getting the posse together. Zack and J got along well per usual and they tore into a Sponge Bob Square Pants piñata with particularly fierce glee. Dave brought out his data projector and a shower curtain and we played Rock Band on his Xbox in the back yard. Playing drums was so freaking cool I left with blisters.

Next day was brunch, a walk in the park, and a pool party at Uncles Rob and Aaron. We all dove in and splashed around. J’s fearless love of water means we have to be extra careful to keep her from diving right in and sinking straight to the bottom. But swimming lessons are paying off and she had her arms scooping and legs kicking. We have growing Olympic hopes for her (watch out, Phelps).

.

A week ago (Friday) we flew to Cincinnati for a wedding. We returned this evening (Saturday). Lovely affair with Neal Uncle finally getting hitched. We got to see Sunila Maushi and Christian Kaka (whose first book has been published!), who were here with Sahil and Siyona for a couple days, before they shipped out to

India

for four months. Sahil’s increasingly articulate for his age and has some slick dance moves of his own. It appears that lessons are paying off for him, as well. Siyona is bigger and cuter than when we saw her in December. She can even cruise when held up. At the reception, Sahil and Jahnavi were out on the floor with Sahana (another cousin, the groom’s niece), who’s just a few months younger than J. Together they rushed headlong onto the dance floor and tripped (sometimes over, sometimes into) the light fantastic. Minal Maushi and Stephen Kaka were here for the celebration as well, but returned to NYC earlier, so we didn’t get to see as much of them.

J got sick while we were in Cincinnati. She sported an on-and-off temperature that ran pretty high at times over at least two days, which manifested not in sluggishness, but in really, really bad behavior. A little Tylenol, however, and she was back to her happy, much-less-defiant self. The second night, after happily and cooperatively downing a bowl of spaghetti, she went to bed feeling alright, but that fever returned sometime around 2am. We gave her some more Tylenol and I laid down with her until she nodded off again. I had my head on the mattress and couldn’t see her face, so she gently, lovingly tapped my shoulder and whispered something barely audible about her back. “You want me to rub your back?” She nodded and I rubbed her back until after her eyes closed again. When I stopped, I kept my head on the pillow, facing her. Her soft, little doe eyes peeped open once, so I quickly shut mine, hoping she’d follow suit. It was a sweet moment, watching my little girl laying there gently cuddling her baby doll.

Until she threw up on my face, which kinda killed the moment. It was several minutes before I wiped the spaghetti from under my eye and tomato sauce from my beard, but we finally got ourselves cleaned up and Vidula and I put her in bed with us. About an hour later, Vidula thought to herself, “What are the chances that she’ll only vomit once tonight?” She got a towel and laid it under Jahnavi only minutes before the second wave came up and out. Excellent timing.

But J’s fine now. Must’ve been one of those short-lived stomach viruses. We were afraid she’d contracted something more serious from a few days previous. The maushis, kakas, and kids all went to a water park last weekend with Aji and Ajoba, but it was in the late afternoon and rather chilly. J was shivering (as was her father). It was a lot of fun anyways and we completed the afternoon with a picnic of chutney sandwiches and Frisbee. Hanging with the Kale family can be lots of fun.

There was also a visit to the zoo.

And we’ll get to see a lot more of all of them in the near future: We’re moving to Cincinnati at the end of September. There’s still a lot of stuff to do to get our house ready to be put on the market, but that’s our timetable (or time horizon, if you prefer). Vidula will continue working for the same company that originally sent us to Brussels (and she’s been with for a full decade now) from home; I’m in the process of searching for ESL teaching jobs (and plan to have my thesis completed in the next couple weeks!). This week that we’ve been in Cincy we were looking at daycare for Jahnavi. We’ll stay with Vidula’s parents for a couple months while we search for a house there and sell the place in St. Paul. We’re moving here to be closer to them. It’ll be good for us and really good for Jahnavi.

"I'm in pre-school!"

2008-08-01T14:30:00.001-07:00

The little girl's had a big week, moving all the way up from the older toddler's class to pre-school. They had her visiting for a few hours each day over the past week or two to get her ready for the transition, but Monday was her first day full-time with the big kids. She was all excited and actually reminded me about it as we left the house that morning. ("I go to pre-school today!") When we arrived, she heard singing going on in her old classroom and really wanted to run in and play with them. I felt sad redirecting her to her new digs. And she was a little hestitant to let me go, more than normal, but her new lead teacher, Nadine, started throwing out all the tricks she knew until something stuck. With the promise of waving good bye to Daddy out the window and going to say hi to Jenni (her old lead teacher), Jahnavi let me walk. Yesterday (so I was told), she saw one of her old teachers in the kiddie bathroom and went running toward her, calling her name, proudly announcing her new station in life ("I'm in pre-school!").

The downside to all this is that she's been acting up at home, much more than normal. But we expected this, especially after talking to parents of kids that have already moved up from her old class. She's been throwing tantrums galore, resisting going potty (which she's gotten pretty good at, so long as we remind her every hour or so), and gets out of bed after we close the door and walk downstairs a good three or four times. Last night was better, so maybe she's adjusting quickly.

Disconcertion

2008-07-23T10:24:00.000-07:00

So I'm leaving the University heading for my evening teaching gig and decide to take the highway entrance near Jahnavi's daycare (you'll remember that after the 35W bridge collapse last August, they had to close and we had to move her to another branch on the other side of campus - luckily still pretty convenient, this one being near I-94). As I approach, I notice helicopters hovering nearby. Strange. Accident? I get closer and notice the police lights. Disconcerting. A crime? Then I see tons of University students milling around an area that was cordoned off with police tape. And there were a lot of cops, too. At least 5-6 cars worth were crawling along the street. As I pass by the building, I notice a news crew has already set up shop and is filming the action. Trying not to panic, I made a call.

It seems that a high-speed car chase ended a block away from Jahnavi's daycare. The director was actually outside watching when I called and he told me that as a precaution, none of the kids were being let outside on the playground (even if it is fenced off). Everthing was fine when Vidula picked her up later.

But they police never caught the guy.

Here's a video . Right before the end, you can see the stolen vehicle, right in front of the building with a red awning that's housing our daughter. Not feeling too good about that, but I'm sure she's in a safe environment...as much as this wild, dangerous world is ever safe. Oh, god. I really am a parent. Here's the article, as well.

Just an update

2008-07-20T19:24:00.000-07:00

Let’s see. What’s happened since the last blogging?

Two weeks ago this Monday Jahnavi’s principle daycare teacher, Jenni, came over to baby sit while Vidula and I went out with the uncles (and Amber) for a tryst with George Michael (in the Xcel Center, not a loo). Fantastic! The man can still dance (as well as he ever really could, I suppose) and sing. I sat out the majority of songs and nursed a beer, but Vidula’s legs were sore next day from dancing in the aisles to all (and I mean all) the old 80s faves.

Jahnavi was excited about playing with Jenni at her own home (“Jenni’s coming to my house!”), and wasted no time running her through the usual welcome of showing her her toys and coloring with her (all the while telling Jenni whose turn it was and when). Jenni said she was terrific and even started dozing off during the first bedtime story. Angel!

The Sunday prior, I tossed and turned, anxious about my first day back teaching since the operation. Monday with George was a late night too, but I thought we’d be able to recover Tuesday night. Yea, not so much. Vidula’s parents and uncle didn’t arrive until pretty late on the Megabus that night (not their fault, though). The next two nights, Jahnavi’s sleep was disrupted from the excitement of seeing them again and she tried coming into our room around 3 or 4am. It was a slightly tiring week, but a great visit. My tummy, as per usual, is still pleasantly and plumply satisfied from all of Aaji’s good cooking. We even got to go out and see a movie while they watched the kid (Hell Boy II: The Golden Army – worth it). We all went out for a very nice dinner at Broder’s Pasta Bar and helped them celebrate their 38th anniversary. They stayed until Tuesday of last week and it was sad to see them go, but we’ll see them again next month for a wedding in Cincinnati.

This past Friday I took Jahnavi to her first baseball game ever for some real father-daughter bonding. The Twins played the, um…well, someone. It was only my second baseball game ever (clearly not a sports fan). For some reason, she always talks about wanting to go play baseball as we drive past the Metrodome afternoons to pick up her mother. People from my job were going, so I decided we’d join. She was incredibly well-behaved and oddly enough, when I left her alone with a coworker, rather than cower or chase behind me she stayed and actually talked to him (a handful of words).

Yesterday was another daddy-daughter day. Vidula was at her women’s book club, whooping it up at some cabin (one of these times they’ll actually talk about the month’s book), so we biked over to Como Zoo. Monkeys, orangutans, gorillas, zebras, giraffes, the Sparky the Sea Lion Show, ice cream sandwiches, and a little rain, then a well-deserved nap.

This morning was all Mommy. Vidula took her to the gym (J loves the child care toys) and then brunch at Uncles Rob and Aaron’s, where she played with another little girl her age. I sat home and worked on my thesis.

Her understanding and memory continue to floor me. On the bike ride back from the zoo yesterday, she sang “Do Re Mi” from start to finish, every word. We’ll have to work on the notes later. And she said a rather complicated sentence on the ride: “We were sitting on the ground when we saw fireworks.” A little decontextualized as always, it took me a moment to realize that she was talking about the 4th of July fireworks. We went to a park and then grilled in the backyard that afternoon, then later viewed the night’s spectacle from the St. Paul Cathedral, which is on a hill. We could actually see fireworks displays from towns all around us for miles. She was all excited about going and gave us none of the usual trouble getting into her car seat. We parked on Summit Ave. then walked/strolled to a nice, grassy spot by the church and settled in. She couldn’t wait. The sun goes down late this far north so the ooos and ahhhs didn’t start until 10pm. Five minutes into it, she looked up groggily and mumbled, “I want to go home.” But we got to see it all on the walk back.

As I think I've mentioned before, we've gotten her to listen to us by telling her when she's made us happy and letting her know in no uncertain terms when what she's done or doing has made us unhappy. She learns. Today she and I took a bike ride around Lake Como and stopped off at a park so she could run around the playground. We ended with a ride on the swings and (inspired by her Christian kaka) we did several super duper underdogs, in which I count and swing her back and forth lightly three times, then run underneath pushing her high in the air. She loves it. We did that three times and each time she laughed and giggled, especially if I tickled her on the return swing. As I gave her another push, she caught her breath and caught me by surprise yelling out, "Daddy, you made me happy." I learn.

36th annual Gay Pride Festival, revisited

2008-07-02T15:01:00.000-07:00

Here's a video of Jahnavi's famous Uncle Chauncey expounding on the meaning of Pride (just wait for the ad to finish).

Oooooooooo.....ahhhh.

2008-07-01T07:33:00.000-07:00

So I've been lying around a lot the past week. About damn time. The surgery went remarkably well, but I was concerned before things started because I knew I'd have to lie down for the general anesthesia. If you remember, I lost my fondness for that particular position a while ago, and I knew they couldn't put me out rump-upwards. Nothing to worry about though. The nurse put a drug in my IV prior to wheeling me down to the operating room while I was still sitting up. It hit within a minute. Vidula walked with me down the hallway for a little bit and asked how I was feeling. She said it took me nearly a full minute to respond with "Oooooooooo....." The walls were just zooming past like a 3-D movie. There were really no other words to describe the sensation. And that’s the last thing I remember until they asked me to start counting to ten. It was all over and I was already in the recovery room. They had gone in and cut out the little piece of me that was causing all of the trouble. The relief was immediate. My lower back was a little sore, but I happily lied in bed for the next 18 hours with only occasional potty breaks (once they took the catheter out - YOWCH!) and the nearly once-hourly nurses coming in to ask if I was sleeping (closed eyes and loud snoring could mean anything, I suppose). I spent the night in the hospital and finally left the next day around 1pm. I do a lot of napping still (I am recovering, you know), but within a couple days I'd weaned myself off of the pain meds. I didn't even take Tylenol last night. Life is so much better now. I think they could accidentally saw off my toes now, slowly and without anesthesia, but so long as I could lie down to deal with it, I'd be happy.

This past weekend I even had enough energy to leave the house. The weather was lovely Sunday so we three went to the Minneapolis Gay Pride Parade. The parade itself was kinda boring (I've never liked parades) and the nearly 15-minute wait for people and floats stopped to let traffic pass on the cross streets made for a less-than-enjoyable stand in the hot sun, despite the windiness. Although we didn't see everything, I think the best group in the parade was the Lipstick Lesbians. Their sign read, "Lipstick Lesbians Unite!" and it was carried by the sole member of the group to appear in the parade. We should have brought the camera.

We met up with Amber and Zach and decided to just head to the parade's end at Loring Park. There were lots of booths and free things and food and sights and a playground for the kids. We all got Target pride temporary tattoos (Target > Targét > Tar-Gay?) and then had lunch. While we were eating ice cream Al Franken, the ex-SNL writer and DFL (Democrat) senate candidate, walked past and gave someone a fist bump (not a terrorist bump). Then some guy walked over to us and said in a low, creepy voice, “You have a beautiful family.” I don’t think he meant to be creepy. Later we drove over to Uncles Rob and Aaron’s place where Jahnavi and I took a nap (I can nap anywhere now) before the party started. I had to throw her into timeout in public for the first time, but she quickly acquiesced and lied down next to Daddy for a badly-needed nap.

I still keep referring to myself as 'Daddy,' but she doesn’t actually call me ‘Daddy’ anymore. As of the past two weeks, Jahnavi’s started calling us ‘Mom’ and ‘Dad.’ Every now and again she’ll refer to me as ‘my daddy’, as in, “Come here, my daddy,” and she’ll say, “I want my mommy,” but that’s it. I have to say that I liked being ‘Daddy’ and I’m a little disappointed. I suppose it’s better than ‘father’ or ‘old man.’ She does tell me she loves me a lot more (“I love you, Dad.”), so I guess it’s a fair trade.

A Slice of Heaven

2008-06-21T16:43:00.000-07:00

“So, I was running an’ I fall down. I get up. I fall down again.” Jahnavi has begun starting her stories with ‘so’ now. In that tradition, here I start mine.

So, I’m having surgery this Tuesday. It’s minor, outpatient, shouldn’t be out more than an hour. A microdiscectomy to relieve the leg pain I’ve been enduring for probably more than four years, most acutely over the past two months, and the likely culprit behind several years of on-again-off-again back pain. Why? I’ve got a herniated disk that’s been hammering against a nerve root running down my entire left leg. How’s that feel, you ask? Well, it really depends on my position. Standing is usually the best (lucky I’m a teacher), sitting gets old after about 20-30 minutes (unfortunate for a student), and lying down – well, that’s possible only with drugs and only for about two hours. That’s when I wake up in complete agony, moaning, sweating, cursing and wanting to cry like a little girl (around two and half years old). After an hour or so the pain lessens enough, allowing me to desperately-yet-reluctantly crawl back into bed with my face pushed down in the mattress and three pillows propping my butt high in the air, the only possible (albeit undignified) position I can sleep in. But how does the nerve pain feel? At its best, it comes in waves which trough and crest from a dull discomfort to a nagging, distracting ache. At its worst, it feels like a stereo has been turned on full volume in a small room with the door closed, senses overwhelmed, over-stimulated, over and over until I’d be more than happy to make a deal with any of a host of demons for someone to come and turn it off, and let me sleep. (I wonder if they do that in Guantánamo.)

I was hoping to avoid surgery. For years I’ve done physical therapy, but paused it this past semester to make sure I got everything done on time so I could graduate. Ironic that, because I had to postpone finishing my thesis once this latest, most painful phase began. I tried two cortisone injections right in the back. The first seemed like it was working for a month until it stopped. When the pain specialist gave me the second one he told me that I’d get at least six months’ relief and if I didn’t then I should consider surgery. It barely lasted five days. But the operation is pretty simple. The doctor’ll make a short slice in my back, part some muscles, and then cut out the offending piece of disk using a microscope lens. It’s a common procedure with little risk of complications and I should be up and walking the next day. What I’m really looking forward to is some long-overdue heavenly slumbering.

Jahnavi will be in daycare while Vidula sits with me, and then stays home with me the next day. I’m in good hands.

The other day we picked her up from school and asked her how her day was. “I cried today.” “You cried, Honey? Why did you cry?” After a thoughtful pause, “Actually, I didn’t cry.” She’s been using ‘actually’ in appropriate contexts more often lately. So in that vein…

Actually, I’m not terribly anxious about having surgery. After all, it’s pretty minor as these things go. I’ve gotten a couple calls from the nurses’ office asking me questions like, “What’s your date of birth? Have you had surgery before? Are you allergic to any medications?” But the one that made me a little uncomfortable was, “Do you have any religious preferences?” Huh. Do I need one? Really? Just something I need to be asked? Are you telling me I should begin to make my peace? I’m not religious, thank you, but I trust I’m in good hands. I know at least two other people who've had this operation and recommend it highly, and this doctor is some sort of rock star of the orthopaedic world. I go in Tuesday morning and so long as I can take oral medication and pee on my own, they'll let me go home that evening. I'm just worried about staying too long with nothing good to read.

Teddy Bear Park

2008-06-15T20:23:00.000-07:00

Last Friday I kept the monkey home from daycare and we went to Teddy Bear Park in Stillwater. There we met up with Rhonda, who's in my graduate program, and her heart-breakingly sweet daughter Lily. The park's fantastic and the kids had a good time, although at first they wanted little to do with one another. About the time the parents were getting hungry and were ready to go, they started playing together. You should have seen them chasing each other in the restaurant, on the sidewalk, and holding hands while crossing the street. If schedules permit, we'll try doing it again this summer, perhaps this time with our significant others.

Vidula took her most of the day Saturday while I worked on my thesis (it's actually called a double plan B, but no one knows what that means, not to mention it sounds less impressive). They paled around with Uncles Rob and Aaron at the Stone Arch Festival of the Arts, where Jahnavi got her first tattoo. Like father...Later that afternoon, after scribbling all over herself with some markers she happened to run across, she invited me to a tea party with Froggy and Baby (although she said she only served coffee, which she poured straight out of the bathroom tap).

Today, we hit another park, bought bikes (how green we are!), and ate dinner in the backyard. A good Father's Day in all.

Bugs, beasties, and bratwursts

2008-06-10T20:27:00.000-07:00

This weekend the weather was nice enough for us to take in the new butterfly exhibit at Como Park. We're lucky to live so close (15 minutes, counting time searching for a parking spot). The park's got a zoo, a conservatory, plus rides and attractions for kids. It's really not that big, but it's got a lot packed inside. The newest exhibit is a butterfly garden housed in a large greenhouse that's made up to look like a huge caterpillar. Inside the butterflies float freely from friend to frond. It just opened, but I'm sure in only a few days there'll be heel-smashed carcasses littering the walkway. Most of the species only live a few weeks, so I suppose it's not a bad gig after all if you're a butterfly. We saw a similar butterfly garden when we visited Cincinnati a year or so ago and Jahnavi wore the butterfly-bedecked sun visor she got during that trip to this one (she claimed to be a butterfly herself). She was really good and kept from running and grabbing them. Not that she could have if she wanted to (and, oh, she wanted to), because those colorful little critters flit away pretty fast. After we exhausted the bug show, Jahnavi wanted to walk over and see the animals. The weather's warmer than it was when we visited a few weeks ago and a lot of the animals at the zoo are outside now. She was pretty excited about the giraffes and the zebras, but the orangutans were the coolest. Right turn, Clyde!

Here're the photos.

Last night she was a handful (Monday), but darn if she doesn’t make up for it a minute later. After her bath she continued her trend of obstructionism and delay. As soon as I wrapped the towel around she decided she had to go pee-pee. Fine. The potty’s all the way downstairs, but I want her to get in the habit of going before bedtime. Once on the potty she came up with the goods, but since I wanted her to do more I let her sit there a little longer, even coaxing her with a sticker (what is it with kids and stickers?). She started goofing and playing around and at one point she folded the sticker and tried poking me in the eye (clearly I was at floor level by then). To her it was all good fun, but damn if it didn’t hurt. I raised my voice and looked at her very sternly. “Ow!” I said, “Jahnu, that hurt Daddy. Stop it!” (when will I stop referring to myself in the third person with her?) She didn’t get it and was still smiling and laughing. Then she stopped and asked, “That was funny?” “No.” Same stern look. Then her smile faded, she cocked her head and said, voice full of concern, “I’m sorry Daddy.” Argh. And I tried so hard to stay mad at her.

Here're the pics from Grand Old Day last weekend. It’s a once yearly celebration in Saint Paul along Grand Avenue. They block off the street and turn it into a fair. It’s free, so you can imagine there were a lot of people. We just went for the petting zoo. Here're some video samples other people have made this and past years.

The Saturday before Memorial Day Uncles Chauncey and Michael came over for a little grillin’ and swillin’. Chauncey got to put his boy scout fire-making skills to good use on the grill, serving up some tasty, fatty, charred goodness. Vidula made some kickin’ guac that was gone in minutes. Then we had corn on the cob á la indienne (no butter, but instead a lemon slice dipped in salt and cayenne pepper and rubbed all over the grill-toasted cob). Glad the weather cooperated. Here're some photos from that and a few taken a week or so before of our house.

Obstructionism

2008-06-05T20:38:00.000-07:00

I don't know where she gets her ideas.

This evening I read to her and put her to bed. She wasn't really ready, but I started the process by reading to her anyway. After finishing book three it was time for her to turn off her light and start the nightly music (now playing: a collection of 'No Doubt' tunes lovingly rendered on a xylophone). That's when she decided to unleash her new set of delaying tactics. First she didn't want the blanket that was on her bed (that one she sort of tried last night so I was ready). Then she "couldn't" make it all the way up into bed on her own (I had to threaten to walk out to get her to get in on her own). She tossed and turned, asked me to cover her back a couple times, wanted Froggy (her favorite stuffed animal who goes nearly everywhere with her now), asked me to cover her back again. I was pissed and she knew it. "You happy Daddy?" "If you'd go to sleep I'd be happy. I love you. Now go to sleep." She acquiesced and finally calmed down. As I walked toward the door she initiated saying, "Goodnight, Daddy" (I usually say it to her first, and she says it back most of the time in her softest, sweetest-sounding voice). "Goodnight Daddy! Goodnight Daddy! Goodnight Daddy! I like saying 'goodnight Daddy.'" God, I'm a sucker. "Goodnight, Sweetie," I said, no longer pissed off, and gently closed the door. No, she wanted the door open. So I opened it. No, she wanted the door closed. I stomped back up the stairs and just left it open. Finally, she was asleep. Until five minutes later. "Daddy! I need to go potty." She wanted to go downstairs to her potty, but I was on to her tricks and brought it up instead. Five minutes of sitting and playing around and she was done, with no product to show. Doh! How could I have fallen for it?! Right, I'm a sucker. After all that, and nearly half an hour, she was ready to go to sleep.

I suppose I should add that her potty training has turned a corner (to borrow a much-hackneyed phrase of late). We got her a book all about potty time (that even has a sound chip that makes flushing and giggling noises!) about two weeks ago. It's a short, simple book that she's already started reciting. Since then she's been all excited about going pee-pee on her own, both at home and at school. Number two we're still working on...But she's out of diapers and in to pull-ups. Elmo undies, here we come.

I'll try to remember to post some pictures of Labor Day with Uncles Chauncey and Michael and Grand Old Days.

Embarrassing, but she'll probably forgive me some day

2008-05-04T06:22:00.000-07:00

So Jahnavi's laying on her changing table last week while Vidula is changing her diaper (we're still working on potty training - she tries and tries every day at day care, but is woefully reluctant to give it go at home. Sometimes, but it's a struggle to get her to do it. Someday soon...). Anyways, while she's laying there barebottomed, she farts. It happens. As soon as she does, though, she says,

"Oh! Did you hear that?"

"What?" her mother asks.

Jahnavi grins slyly and says, "My butt said, 'coo coo coo coo.'"

Don't tell her I told you.

Here're some photos from last weekend's trip to the new Nickelodeon Universe (formerly Camp Snoopy, formerly the Park at Mall of America). This is after she got her new haircut.

And here are some photos from her Uncle Jeff's short-but-sweet visit.

Late edition:
I wrote the post above in the morning. Later in that afternoon we had lunch with the local uncles - Chauncey, Michael, Rob, and Aaron. Afterwards the three of us went to the mall so Vidula could buy some new clothes for her business trip (she's going out of town for a couple days tomorrow). I watched the monkey while she was in the changing room at Banana Republic. Once she knew that Mommy was changing clothes, though, Jahnavi wanted to do the same. "Well, Honey," I said, "we don't have extra clothes for you to change into...but you could take your jacket off and put it on again." I know. She doesn't get sarcasm. "Why don't you go in there and help Mommy?" I suggested and off she went. We can do things like that now - give her orders of varying complexity and she'll do them. Almost.

As Jahnavi walked toward her mother, I walked over to the men's section to look around. After what must have been only a couple of minutes, Vidula heard Jahnavi calling "Daddy! Daddy!" and realized that I wasn't anywhere around. She came out of her room, and as she looked down, there in the changing area hallway stood our daughter, buck naked as the day she was born. "Jahnavi! Where are your clothes?!" her mother asked. She mumbled something about being wet and didn't want to put her old diaper back on. "Jahnu, you need to put your diaper back on!" So after getting her diaper reaffixed to her bottom, Jahnavi walked back into her changing room and put her new spring dress and sandals back on all by herself.

It happened too quickly for photos. Luckily.

Her brain is exploding

2008-04-22T06:08:00.000-07:00

Just in the past couple of weeks she's been noticeably changing, and a lot. Her verbal skills are going through the roof (i.e., she talks an awful lot) and her motor skills are developing more and more (she runs fast, so we have to really watch her in the parking lot). She got a new haircut over the weekend and she had to show all of her friends and teachers, plus tell them about her new shirt (well, it's new for the season) and she has a penchant for wanting to take toys with her to show off (like nasty old trains and terribly unexciting rulers).

But the biggest and most impressive development is in her sleeping. I know things had gotten better back in January (so long ago!), but then she got sick again and we spent a week in Cincinnati, so everything just went back to crap. We're into week three of her sleeping in her own bed in her own room each night. It started on a Monday evening. She would sleep in her room, but not let us leave until she fell asleep. Then she'd wake up at 3am, 1am, 11pm and have to come in and sleep with us. (Man! She tosses and turns a lot.) Finally, I'd had enough. We couldn't keep her in room like we had a few months earlier, because along with all those motor and language skills have come muscular development as well - she can push the gate right over (and her door doesn't lock). So I put her in bed, waited, thought she was asleep, went to walk out when she started whining yet again for me to stay. She immediately jumped out of bed to come and get me, but I'd had enough. I closed the door and held it, hoping that she'd...well, I wasn't sure; I'd just had enough. I waited, she cried. Then after several cries of, "I want my daddy! I want my daddy!" she pulled the right heart strings: "I wanna big hug!" (These kids are good.) I opened the door and gave her said big hug, and then tried something that I didn't think would work (but hoped against hope that it would). I talked her into staying in bed. There was some stopping and starting and she tried getting back out of bed, but I finally met her half way and said I'd keep the door open "just a little bit, just a little bit" (picture index finger close to thumb, measuring an infinitesimally tiny distance, accented by an adorably cute tone of voice - that's me doing that, not her). Finally, she agreed. "Leave door open." Not a problem. I left it open and walked downstairs.

And so it began. She stopped sleeping in our bed that night. She might have woken up a couple times and had to be convinced to get back in bed, but it was in her bed, not ours. Finally, a couple of nights ago I told her goodnight as I left the room and got a happy "night, night" back. Damn. I closed the door, left it open "just a little bit", and walked down the stairs. This morning she walked in at 6am (the price we pay for her sleeping all night is her getting enough sleep to wake up nice and early. Oh, well). She'd made some noises around midnight, but never got out of bed. After lots of congratulating, Vidula took her downstairs for her morning bagel.

Six months ago, when her perfect sleeper status went to hell, we never thought this would happen. Really, never; not until she left for college. But she's become more human and less neanderthal in the past six months. We started telling her what we expect and how to get it. We can do that and she not only listens but understands. We can tell her that Mommy and Daddy aren't happy with her and what to do to make us happy (she still wants to make us happy - I figure we have a couple more years until she starts consciously looking for ways to make us unhappy). It's a beautiful thing.

I'll try to find more time and post some pictures so you can see the beautiful thing herself, sporting her new do.

Been a long time since I rock and rolled.

2008-03-12T13:17:00.000-07:00

It may be a while until I get the chance to update again so I'm taking the opportunity I have at the moment. This semester has been more than hectic, what with my taking classes, teaching classes, working on my qualifying final paper, preparing to present, blahblahblah. One of those courses is a course on technology in the classroom and I'm actually sitting in that classroom discussing blogs right now. Seems only fitting to add a little something on this blog.

Of all the fascinating little details that have happened with Jahnavi over the past two months, the one right now is the most pressing. She was up a lot last night with an ear infection. And since she's been sleeping in our bed for the past two, that means we shared every waking minute with her. But she can finally tell us that her ear hurts, narrowing the range of things to fret about. She's feverlessly at daycare now and on antibiotics.

OK. The class is moving on to another topic. We're heading to Cincy next week for spring break. I'm sure I'll have a little more time to update the world on everything Jahnu-related from there. Stay tuned.

Did you know?

2008-01-26T08:07:00.000-08:00

What does the future hold for our little girl?
(Click the bottom play button to watch this in the blog.)

On her own

2008-01-16T18:51:00.001-08:00

It's taken...good god, I don't know how long,but Jahnavi is sleeping again on her own. How did this happen, you ask? I didn't think it was possible, you say? Was there a shift in the cosmic order? A rebalancing of space-time symmetry? A disturbance in the Force?

You'll recall that she was a perfect little sleeper right up until her second birthday when her sudden illness threw everything out of whack. She'd decided that week that she would no longer sleep in her crib for starters, but that was rapidly eclipsed by her overwhelming desire to come and sleep with Mommy and Daddy from then on. It's not that we don't like her sleeping with us, it's just that when she does, no one sleeps. She tosses, turns, moans, squeals, and kicks her parents' more vulnerable areas throughout the night. Makes parenting very difficult the next day. Although we later tried (to no avail) all sorts of measures to convince her to choose her own room, like leaving her door open, our door open, putting her mattress in our room, sleeping in her room, setting her back in bed each time she got up, and even bribing her with morning cartoon privileges, we originally thought that putting a gate in front of her door (which problematically can't shut all the way) would be the most efficient and effective solution. But our little girl is strong and the door frame is uneven; she'd just push it down in three blows. It seemed that for every trick we'd come up with she'd adapt faster than the Borg. We were considering moving some sort of dangerously heavy object in front of her door so she'd stay all night, when Vidula happened to mention the other gate sitting unused in the basement. It's got a better grip to hold onto the doorway. Maybe we should give it a try, I said...

So we did. The first night one of us stayed in her room until she fell asleep, Enya songs softly warbling beneath the humidifier's tranquil sibilation. Around 11:30pm, her bedroom door was flung open and cries for Mommy and Daddy echoed down the stairwell. Terrible as it was to listen to our child's pleas, we hung tight to the sides of the couch for 30 strained minutes. Then she abruptly closed the door and lumbered in sleepy resignation to her bed. "Hurray!" we thought, even though we knew it wasn't over. It happened again around 3:30am, but this time for only 20 minutes. We talked to her about it the next morning (she's old enough to get it even if she does have problems controlling her impulses). No cartoons because she didn't sleep all night without crying. Maybe tomorrow morning. That night, the same thing happened - stay, Enya, door flinging open. But she cried for less than a minute this time. After she closed the door, we could hear her moving around until suddenly Enya's familiar lilt came filtering through. She'd turned the CD player on by herself! (I only showed her once.) When 3:30am rolled around, she opened the door, cried for Mommy and Daddy, then shut it and turned the CD player on again. Beautiful! Then, maybe around 5am, Vidula and I both woke up without knowing why. We rolled over and looked at each other . "Isn't that the third song on the Enya album?" Jahnavi had apparently woken up , flipped on the radio, and then returned to bed. Brilliant!

Tonight is night number six and for the first time in months we left her room without her falling asleep first, gate up of course. After less than one minute of high-pitched wailing she closed the door and went to bed. It's 10pm now and she's been asleep two hours without a peep. We can almost begin to think about hiring a babysitter again one day...

Despite her (and our) losing sleep, she's added some more to her language skills. She has 3rd person subject pronouns (he, she) and object pronouns (him, her), although she's inconsistent in their use and accuracy. She's also started adding '-s' for '-ing' verbs (instead of 'he going' she's started saying 'he's going'). Pretty cool. She adds one or more words to her vocabulary each day and understands way more than I expect her to (and that happens nearly everyday as well...I need to get on the ball...). She also sits for longer books, like 'Library Lion' and 'Ferdinand the Bull'. She really likes guessing what's going to happen next in the story, too, which is tremendous.

She's also really excited about Christian Kaka, Sunu Maushi, Sahil Dada, Siyona Baby, and Minal Maushi coming this weekend. Stay tuned for upcoming photos.

Happy 2008!

2008-01-01T13:43:00.000-08:00

In the pink
We had big plans for last night. The three of us were invited over to Uncles Rob and Aaron’s for a kid-friendly soirée of hors d’oeuvres and light imbibements. But as we were getting ready to leave, we started talking about the goop coming out of the corner of Jahnavi’s left eye and how both were sort of slightly swollen, like she’d just woken up. We called a nurse who decided yep, it’s pink eye. Today we took her to urgent care and got her some eye drops. Until she’s been on the meds for 24 hours, she’s highly contagious, so we thought it best to just stay home last night and phone it in. Other than that and it being only 5°F outside, we’re having a nice first day of the year: clear blue skies and warm sunlight streaming through the windows.

Seeing Siyona in Seattle
We came back from Seattle on Christmas eve. Jahnavi fell asleep on the ride to the airport and stayed asleep for nearly an hour until we boarded the plane. She missed saying goodbye to her Aji and Ajoba, though, which was a little sad because she won’t see them for many more months while they’re in

India

. For having such poor sleeping habits (or maybe because of them) she somehow stayed conked out even while we picked her up out of her stroller and went through the metal detector. She was mostly OK on the flight, especially since I brought the laptop and “The Jungle Book” for her to watch, plus she could play with her brand new toy computer her Sunu Maushi got for her (which kept Jahnavi and Sahil from fighting over his).

It was a wonderful visit and passed way too quickly (sure sign of a good time). Siyona is a beautiful, tiny doll and I can’t believe our child was ever that small. Vidula (and I) had forgotten that in contrast to toddlers, there are only three or four things a new-born could have wrong – hungry, cold, wet, or crappy; check for each, repeat as necessary. And with our seasoned veteran’s status, we’d also forgotten about those nightly feedings. I wasn’t able to hold her a few days while a cold passed through me mostly by way of my nose, but once that was gone I let her know her Michael Kaka loved her. The daddies took the two older kids out most of the time while the mommies (including aji and ajoba) cooked or shopped (a deal that added two sweaters to my wardrobe and at least one inch to my girth). Despite (or because of, really) the near-constant drizzling, Seattle is a beautiful city (all that green, even in winter). We didn’t go up the Space Needle, visit Pike Place Market, or see the Science Fiction Museum (which I was pushing for), but we did tour a little of downtown including the very modern and spacious public library, which the kiddies loved.

We also celebrated Christian Kaka’s birthday the day we left.

Mouths of babes
Even with the frequent property and territorial disputes, Jahnavi and Sahil got along well. Her spending time with her highly articulate and animated cousin has produced tangible and immediate results. Within a few days there, she went from calling Vidula’s father “a’ba”, which she’s been doing for months, to the full “ajoba”. Her sentences have become longer, she’s started using “go” and “try” before any number of verbs (“You go get me!” “I try go ‘round.”), she’s added another preposition (“next-to”, a fused form), and says new words that she either picked up in Seattle from Sahil directly or other family. She’s also started asking directly what the words are for physical objects she sees. She may have picked this up from Sahil, who’s been asking about words as objects, i.e. their meaning (and the boy’s only three!). She’s just this week started getting visibly frustrated when we can’t understand what she’s trying to say. She can understand so much but still lacks the vocabulary and syntax to express her thoughts and feelings.

And for the first time today, she seemed to understand the story she was watching. We introduced her to Disney’s “The Fox and the Hound” (to keep her busy while we rearranged the furniture). The latter title character chasing the former title character clearly upset her (“Oh, no!”). It wasn’t much of a reaction, but it was the first time she’s reacted at all while watching cartoons. I let her watch “The Lion King” a couple weeks ago, forgetting how violent a cartoon it really is. Didn’t faze her, probably because there’s so much going on visually and she’s still too young to catch any meaning. “The Fox and the Hound” is likely slow-going enough for some parts to seep in. So cool to watch her miniature mind mature.

Today she ran through the first three lines of “Do Re Mi” correctly and unprompted. And I quote:

Do deer female deer
Re droppa go sun
Me name I caw sef
Run!
Do! Do! Do! Do! Do! Do!

Her mother’s working her on the other songs from “The Sound of Music”.

Jahnavi’s new baby
As for Christmas, we spent it at home. We hadn’t done any decorating before leaving for Seattle, nor had we gussied up our “tree” (a miniature potted pine which towers a nearly full foot atop our dining room table), but we had a warm, white holiday just the three of us. Jahnavi’s favorite present is the new baby doll from her Uncle Bud and Aunt Linda. It plays short tunes, like Brahms’ lullaby, and has a little light that glows. We couldn’t figure out how it worked, but the toddler could. Her natural technological adeptness will ultimately outpace ours, I fear. She promptly christened her new doll “Siyona Baby”. It hasn’t entirely taken the place of the Curious George doll her Grandma got her for her birthday, though. She’s been sleeping with both.

Sleeping beauty
Speaking of which, we’re still not where we want to be on the sleep front, but it’s getting better. With a lot of coaxing we can get to go to sleep in her own room without our sitting or laying there with her until she nods off. She gets up a few times before her parents finally retire for the night, but with threats of closing her door she eventually acquiesces. After we retire, however, is a completely different matter. We haven’t been able to get her to lie down and let us leave the room. That’s going to take a little more time. Last night we resorted to moving her mattress into our bedroom. She didn’t cry, but getting her to stay down was a chore. After we finally came to bed after midnight, she slept better. At one point (who knows what time) she rose up and scurried for the bedroom door, apparently forgetting which room she was in. “Jahnavi, go back to bed,” I mumbled half asleep and she stopped, turned, and followed orders. If only it would always be that easy.

Memories in motion
Here’s a little video from our northwest voyage. Jahnavi loves to dance and so does her Sahil dada. Once the Fridge DJ started playing, it was almost impossible to stop their fancy footwork. Behold…

Sleepless in Seattle

2007-12-19T21:27:00.000-08:00

But we're catching up. Jahnavi still isn't sleeping right, but we think we're on the right track. We tried getting her to stay in Sahil's room the first night we were here, and it took a lot of going back and convincing her that if she wanted the door to the bedroom to remain open, then she'd have to lay back down, stop crying, and go to sleep. That would only last for two hours at the most and then we'd be at it again. Amazingly she didn't wake Sahil. If it weren't for the rest of the family that had to endure her shenanigans we'd still be at it. We'll take up again once we get back home. I'm pretty sure that our putting our foot down consistently for several nights will produce results. I'm sure gonna miss that sleep though.

But despite all the sleeplessness, we're enjoying being here in Seattle visiting newly-arrived Siyona Baby and her family. She's just over a month old now and terribly, terribly cute. Makes all sorts of cutesy baby noises that we'd already forgotten babies make, and she's added her own signature snort. She's been wearing Sahil's and Jahnavi's old infant clothes and I can't believe that either of them were ever that small. Can it really have been that long since Jahnu-banu was an infant? Vidula's parents have been here since just before the joyful bundle showed her face, so as always, I and the rest are eating well.

Sahil and Jahnavi have been fighting over the sharing of toys and space and pillows and books and just about everything that little kids fight over at their ages. Despite all the mini-drama, it makes me very happy. Not only can they fight with one another, but they have little conversations and share ideas. I can't believe they can do that. How does that happen? Jahnavi was a drooling, pooping, crying, swaddled lump of soft, squishy flesh only...well, a while ago I guess. Now I can give her orders and (depending on how much willfulness she's exhibiting) she goes and does it. Saves me from picking up little pieces of trash sometimes. Must remember to teach her how fun doing dishes can be...

Sahil's amazingly talented. Not only is he verbal beyond his age, but he sings and has pitch. He sings himself to sleep for nearly an hour almost every night, sings during the day, sings in the bathroom, you name it. And he can sing some Hindi movie tunes that his parents have taught him. I think they'll opt for music lessons sooner than later,to guide and develop his natural abilities and proclivities. Check out some of his melodies at his blog - http://littorality.blogspot.com/.

Today Christian and I went to the public pool with the tykes. Jahnavi has no fear of the water and is being positively influenced by her older cousin. Having seen him jump to his Baba in the pool for the first time without holding hands to get in, she took off herself and jumped to me in the same way. She's been following him around all day every day, which accounts for some of the conflicts of course. But she's now also starting going up steps using the handrail instead of crawling.

Jahnu's verbal skills are still advancing. She now has two prepositions - 'in' and 'for' (pronounced 'por'). She overgeneralizes the first, of course ("Mommy in work." or "Kaka and Maushi in home."). Plus she's starting to use the article 'the' more and more appropriately. She also uses the auxiliary 'do' with negatives ("Don't cry.") but not yet with questions; for those she still just raises the intonation at the end to turn a declarative phrase into a question ("Daddy want water.""Daddy want water?") This has all happened in the past two weeks. The complexity of language that she understands, while normal I realize, is mind-boggling. She knows nearly all the words to 'Bare Necessities' (because she's watched 'The Jungle Book' - otherwise known in our house as 'dyungle' - a hundred times or more) and recognizes the rest of the songs if we hum them (and we now know all the words too). She loves 'Do Re Mi' from 'The Sound of Music' and we suspect she'll be singing that in no time as well. All three Kale sisters have been singing it since birth, and Sahil knows it like the back of his small hand, so the poor girl doesn't stand a chance. She has to sing it.

Time for dessert while I sit and watch TV with the family.

Thanksgiving

2007-11-25T13:53:00.000-08:00

We've finally been able to reign in her nightly crying, but it took some planning and we don't feel like we're out of the woods yet. Turns out she just doesn't want to sleep in her crib anymore. Fair enough, so we placed her mattress on the floor. She loves that. Now the search is on for a nice-yet-affordable toddler bed. One of us has to sing her to sleep to get her to stay put, and she ends up crying and banging at her bedroom door around 11 or 11:45 pm, requiring another round of Edelweiss or Silent Night (sleepy time faves) until rendered blissfully unconscious again. This was the first part of our plan. The second was to keep both our and her door open at night so she could come in when she wakes up the second time (and there's always a second time) between 1 and 3am. It's taken a little bit of training to get her used to the fact that she can just walk right in and get in bed with us, but last night seemed to work (we keep the gate up at the top of the stairs in case she staggers too far in the tear-soaked darkness). The idea is to let her know that we're available anytime, thus reducing her anxiety so she stops waking up and freaking out. Well, that's the plan. We've gotten out of the screaming and screeching stage, but now we're in the transitional period and still have to figure out how to get her back to being the fantastic sleeper she used to be. I still can't get over how that lovable, comforting personality feature just turned off one night, like she flipped a switch or something.

I also can't believe how she's developing. Today I heard her use second-person singular pronouns (you and your). This is a big step. And her ability to carry on a conversation is growing. Vidula took her to the library while I finished some homework yesterday, so I asked her what she and her mommy did there. She said, "Read book." "What happened in the book?" "Monkey." "Oh, you read about a monkey?" "Yea." "And what did the monkey do?" "Monkey cry." Apparently Vidula read her the book Hug by Jez Alborough, which is about a monkey who sees all the other animals in the jungle hugging and realizes that he doesn't have anyone to hug, so he cries. Her day care teacher says that she easily picks up when other kids in her class are crying. It's nice to know she's not a sociopath, but I'm really just impressed with her ability to recount what happened in the past. I know it's normal for kids at her stage of development, but again, seeing it live leaves me amazed.

We spent our Thanksgiving dinner this year with Uncles Rob and Aaron, and their friend Sharon. When we left, she gave Rob and Aaron hugs - the first hugs for non-family. Aside from excellent hosting and cooking, they should feel special about this too.

Earlier in the day we had our first snow (to fall and stick). Here are some photos of her running, falling, and picking herself back up, all in her raspberry oompa-loopma snowsuit.

Oh, she also knows her own last name now. It's a little confusing for some, but since her mother didn't take my name when we married, and since we both claim 50% ownership, we decided to hyphenate our last names to make hers. Here she is the day she finally got it, right after her last swimming lesson for the year.

Say hello to Siyona

2007-11-14T19:05:00.000-08:00

Jahnavi has a new cousin!

From Christian:
"Hi Everyone,

Please find attached a picture of Siyona, (aka GonzoBaby and GonzalvesBaby), posing with her adoring brother, Sahil, taken just moments after her birth. Her name is an adaptation of Syona, a Sanskrit word meaning "beautiful;" "ray of light;" "the sun;" "happiness;" and more prosaically, "a sack or comfortable seat."

She was born at 11:59pm on Tuesday, November 13th, at the University of Washington Hospital in Seattle. She weighs seven pounds and one ounce and is nineteen and a half inches long. She's beautiful.

Sunila is doing very well too!"

Perchance to dream

2007-11-09T18:14:00.001-08:00

Man, what a week. Actually, for the past three weeks Jahnavi's sleep pattern has been out of wack. What do I mean by "out of wack"? I mean she's been hard to put to sleep many nights, gets up around midnight (some times at 3am) crying and screaming for nearly an hour no matter how we attempt to calm her, then gets up somewhere between quarter to five and five thirty. And due to her lack of sleep, she's been quite bearish those precious few hours of the day when we actually can spend time with her (even if much of that time is spent sitting in the car).

But last night was the second night in a row that she's been back to (mostly) normal. Her cold three weeks ago threw her for a loop, followed by an ear infection (that we're now treating), topped off with the switch from daylight savings time. This morning she slept straight through the night (mostly) and didn't wake up until late in the morning, that is, not until 6:20.

Thanks I'm sure to her settled slumbering, she's been a lot of fun the past couple evenings. Halloween (which she didn't participate in this year) has kindled a love of all the world's 'punkins', three of which sit outside our stoop, so she spends much time excitedly pointing out all the pumpkins in the neighborhood. Her facial expressions are becoming more and more sophisticated: her smiles are wider, her head tilts when asking questions, her eyes light up...the whole schlemiel. Currently, she's taken with yelling "ready, set, go!" and then racing with her bouncy, umpa-lumpish gait from one end of the kitchen to the other. This is of course subject to sudden stops without notice in favor of whirling around dervishly, after which she gleefully announces, "I dizzy!" As if I don't chronicle her life enough, she narrates each action she's engaged in as she's engaged in it: "I running! I dizzy! I happy! I cough! I eat booger!" These are all actual quotes.

She's also been hitting the potty again. She'd stopped during these past three hellaciously tiring weeks, but she's started again at school and at home. Maybe we just needed better reading material.

It's been a long week. I think Vidula and I are headed to bed very early this Friday evening, perchance to dream...

Birthday party at last

2007-10-28T19:43:00.000-07:00

Jahnavi was was sick the entire week after her birthday, so we had to keep her home from daycare. Luckily, her aji (grandma) and ajoba (grandpa) came to town for her birthday and made for wonderful babysitters, letting Vidula and I go to work/class respectively. It's not that she was acting sick - her appetite was normal, she was running around and playing - it's just that she had a fever she couldn't shake. We plied her with Tylenol and Motrin many times daily to keep it under control, until such time that she'd get quiet, fussy, and clingy, and mostly want her mommy. I don't know what we would have done without Vidula's parents.

A week ago yesterday (Saturday) was her birthday party. Almost all the local aunties and uncles arrived to celebrate - Rob, Aaron, Amber, Dave, Ayon, and Zach (who's five and more of a big brother to her). She made out like the proverbial bandit, so much so that we've had to retire a number of her older, less-played-with toys (yea! less for us to pick up!).

Jahnavi spread the love to her old man, so I've been sick all this last week, up to and including today. Same thing - fine appetite, just a lot of fevers and snot.

Party photos below - click on them to view the whole album.

J 2.0

2007-10-15T10:21:00.000-07:00

It's Jahnavi's second birthday! Hurray!

...and she's sick. No idea what it was or what caused it, but we got a call this morning from daycare that she'd unexpectedly thrown up and had a slight fever. So, her ajoba and I (her grandparents are in for her big second) went and picked her up. Except for the river of snot connecting her nose to her upper lip, you'd never know she was ill. She's been active and happy and ate a great lunch once we got home. Her fever came down to about normal, but I gave her Tylenol anyway (she loves the taste and asks for it by name. Note to self: maybe we could make a deal with Tylenol's marketing department...for her college fund...). She wanted to run around and play after lunch so she resisted her needed nap, but a little Edelweiss power humming knocked her right out. Sad thing is that we brought chocolate chip mini-muffins for her to celebrate her big day with her cohort in class. Oh, well. She'll never know the difference, so we'll just do it (her stomach willing) tomorrow. We think there'll be a party this Saturday or Sunday, but invitations are space-limited (we really need to get that basement room cleaned and straightened so we can throw our famous wintertime parties!). I'll be sure to post some cake-face photos.

She was fine the rest of the day. A little crabby when she woke from her nap, but nothing two bowls of Cheerios couldn't cure. We had a little celebration this evening before bedtime by letting her watch her birthday gift "The Jungle Book" on DVD. She really seemed to like it (hopefully, one day as much as her parents do). While she was watching, I noticed that she wasn't wearing her slippers (it's cold again in MN), so I said I'd go upstairs and get them. Jahnavi got up and said she'd go get them, but I told her no. She stopped, and I told her to sit and enjoy the movie. "Because you know why today is special, don't you?" I asked. Her tiny lips parted in a grin and she answered, "Hapbirday Janvi."

Dorothy Rose Davis 1921-2007

2007-10-09T18:18:00.000-07:00

We just returned from Florida this afternoon. Jahnavi was terrific the whole time we were there, but not so much on the flights to and fro. We'll take the blame for that, waking her up early and whisking her around via car and plane for four straight days. She went to bed early this evening and so will we.

We stayed with Papa John and Grandma Helen, who were wonderful. Their kids have left, but the place is stocked with toys for their grandchildren. Jahnu couldn't decide which to play with first - the toys or John. We also spent time with my mother. Jahnavi hadn't seen her grandma much in the past year, but I'd been training her with a photo on the fridge. The morning we left, while eating breakfast I told her who we were flying to see. She pointed up to the refrigerator and said "Gamaw". Close enough, and they got along swimmingly. After the funeral, the whole family went over to my aunt and uncle's house for lunch. It was a nice spread and a good time, a necessary time; I needed the time with them.

Grandma's funeral was Monday (yesterday) morning. It was a nice, sunny day, just hot and humid - it's Florida, after all. The viewing was the night before. I found it hard to say good bye to her last weekend, knowing it'd be the last time I'd see her alive. It was even harder saying good bye this time.

At the funeral the deacon asked if anyone wanted to say anything. I was ready. Here's what I wrote late the night before.
--------

Last night’s vigil was lovely. While the deacon was going through his ceremony, everyone sat silently and listened, teary-eyed and sad. Everyone, that is, except my two-year-old daughter, Jahnavi. This is her first funeral, so you’ll have to excuse her. My wife and I tried to keep her quiet, even if we couldn’t keep her in her seat. She insisted, however, on going back and forth between the two front pews, playing with the Kleenex, giving some to her grandmother, then turning around and waving goodbye and heading back to her mother, over and over. At times her cheerfulness threatened to break the solemnity of the occasion, and in realizing that, I couldn’t help but smile through my tears. What a nice balance, I thought, of life ending and life beginning. I think Grandma would have approved.

We’ll all talk with each other today and discuss what a wonderful woman my grandmother was, how loving and giving. I’m sure we’ll also affectionately balance that image with anecdotes of her imperfections. Grandma was the person who always took charge, but it was in a nurturing, never a controlling way; she was also always very organized in her affairs, yet somehow she was never able to locate all the gifts she hid around the house for Christmas. She had a fine memory for details, except when it came to the names of her children and grandchildren. Even in retirement, Grandma continued to serve and nurture others, like when she volunteered as a school crossing guard. That was one of her defining characteristics – she took care of those who needed it when they needed it, and set aside her own needs and even her own pain; she showed affection to those she loved, even if she could never really get her hugs right – it was kind of a quick squeeze and release, but you knew how she really felt. Grandma wasn’t a very good cook, either, but her meals were always warm and filling whatever she made, and even if it was frozen pizza, she prepared it with love. What better example could I give to my child?

I asked my wife, Vidula, for her thoughts on Grandma, and she told me that what was most striking for her was the fact that Grandma eloped with Grandpa. Only 19, she took off on her own with a man she hadn’t known that long and in one character-defining moment made a vow that she stuck with until the end. She wasn’t foolish; she knew what she was doing and Grandma seemed to never lose that brave, girlish naiveté that disguised her ability to accurately appraise anyone in an instant. When Grandpa passed away, 22 years ago, I remember that she took charge of the whole thing. She was an anchor for everyone and she was an anchor for me. She put her pain aside and did what had to be done. But she didn’t ignore her own needs. After Grandpa was gone, she redid the whole house, she moved on, and she remained strongly engaged with life. What better example could I live my own life by?

On the ride home after last night’s viewing, I don’t think I spoke more than a few words, which Grandma probably would have said is uncharacteristic of me. But I didn’t want to talk. I didn’t want to lose the image of her in my mind, the image of the last time I ever saw her. She looked asleep, resting, at peace; a welcome change from the past week. I have pictures and I have video, but I won’t get to see her again. On the way home I felt a little bit lost, like part of my home was missing, gone. And so it is. But I remembered the image of Jahnavi, now fast asleep in the back seat, scampering between the pews, Grandma lying at rest, the deacon’s voice fading into the background. There was loss and there was gain.

Grandma did so much for me, but even if she lived another 20 years I could never repay her for all the love and kindness and direction she gave me. Grandma’s gone and I’ll miss her. I’m not alone. It’s in her honor and memory and example that I’ll put the pain aside but not ignore it, do what I must, move on, and remain engaged with those I love. My home is with my wife and my daughter, and my home will always, always have a piece of my Grandma there.

Grandma

2007-10-03T21:19:00.000-07:00

Grandma passed away this evening at 9:20 EST. As soon as we have details for the funeral, we'll make our plans to go to Florida together.

The trip to Florida to see Grandma

2007-10-02T11:04:00.000-07:00

It looks like we'll be visiting Florida shortly. My grandmother is lying in a hospice right now. Per her living will, she's only receiving oxygen and morphine. I went down this last Friday while Vidula and Jahnavi attended a wedding in New Jersey. Last Tuesday, her doctor gave Grandma five to seven days, which was a slightly conservative estimate, but only slightly. I flew down Friday and stayed until Monday morning. She was able to wake up a little the first day, and I think I caught a hint of recognition in her eyes twice, but yesterday, she just slept. She's resting comfortably now, despite labored breathing. I don't know how she is today, but her breaths had become shallower and shorter in just the few days I was there. Vidula and I are expecting to have to search for tickets before the end of the week. I'm lucky to have had the chance to say goodbye to her, difficult as it was.

On a more positive note, my travels left me with a pretty good story. I flew a low-fare airline which sent me ambiguous information about which terminal I was to leave from. I arrived at the wrong terminal (Minneapolis-St. Paul has two), so I had to run to catch the tram to the light rail to the other terminal. The tram broke down half-way there, so we all transfered to the other tram, which then had to go back to the original terminal before taking me in the right direction. Just missed missed a light rail, but caught the next one, which dropped me off so far from the terminal I had to O.J. Simpson it for three to five sweat-rendering minutes. Made it, but with only ten minutes to spare, they wouldn't let me on my flight (and there was NO ONE in the security line!). Hmph. They put me on the next flight an hour and half later, which would stop in Chicago and then I'd change in Atlanta, before finally heading to Orlando (damn it! the flight I missed had been direct!).

So there I am, sitting all alone in the plane after it emptied in Chicago. There was a strange vibe coming from all the new folks boarding, but the strangest was from the woman who came to sit next to me. Jennifer, and her lovely little two-year-old boy, Damian. Over the course of two hours, I came to know just about every possible fact you could imagine, and a few you wouldn't. I think the first thing she mentioned was being on Maury Povich in June 2003. It only got better. I know her husband is lying to his boss about time off, instead of spending time with his son for his medical condition, he's actually flying to Honduras to spend time with his mistress, but now he's being fired because she told his boss. I know all about their sex life (unsolicited); I've gotten the privileged view of 22 of her 24 tattoos; she's only 26 but because she's been heavily smoking since age 13, she has the skin of a woman at least twice her age; she's had troubled relationships with her family, both adopted and blood-related; she's pregnant and due on Christmas day this year; very nervous, very twitchy; and very childlike. By contrast, her son was very well behaved (and I say this from recent experience with a nearly-two-year-old). He was cute and he really made me miss Jahnavi, so I played with him a little. He's potty trained, but she had him in a diaper for the trip. He didn't like that and started crying to be changed, so she changed him right there next to me. Not a big deal - the lavatories were pretty small, and there were no surprises waiting in the diaper.

So she orders a Jack and coke. I mention the phenomenon of fetal alcohol syndrome, but temper it with advice that French doctors give to pregnant women allowing one glass of wine every day or so. She offered to buy me one, but I politely declined. The flight attendant (who didn't see she was pregnant) must have felt sorry for her and just gave her the tiny bottle of Jack Daniels without charging. Seeing that she got that one free, she thought she should ask for another. I shot that down, also politely. She downs a swig and chases it with the coke, which goes on for the next 45 minutes or so. Her talking died down a little, but she had to rush to the bathroom twice (she mentioned her small bladder a few times, plus the added problem of her baby weighing down on it). Finally, we land, and as we're taxiing to the terminal in Atlanta, she has to go again. Jennifer pops her head around and silently mouths a request to the flight attendant, who shakes her head no. So, feeling only a slight loss of dignity, she grabbed one of her son's diapers, covered her waist with her jacket, reached into her sweat pants with the diaper in hand, and proceeded to pee into it...sitting right next to me. Nope, not kidding, don't even think I could make that up. She peed right next to me, on an airplane. She had skill, though, and made no mess, except for leaving both diapers on the floor when we deplaned. I rescued one of the toy cars that her son had been playing with, but later tossed on the floor, as we walked out (it was not near the diapers). Last I saw her, Jennifer was pushing Damian's stroller into the smoking room at the airport.

By contrast, yesterday I successfully caught my flight back to the Twin Cities on time, talked to no one, caught up on some homework, and napped. All peeing occurred in the proper facility.

I'm sad, of course, very sad. We're all sad. Grandma has always been the person in charge, and to see her like this is unnatural. I've been spared a lot living so far away. I've also missed out on a lot. At least I was able to see her and tell her good bye. I'm thankful that she was able attend Vidula's and my wedding, visit us in Europe, and meet Jahnavi.

विठल परांजपे १९२०-२००७

2007-09-23T18:52:00.000-07:00

Tatya

A week ago Sunday evening Vidula’s grandfather passed away. He was 87. Tatya had a heart attack after playing cards with his family. He was with the people he loved most, doing the thing he loved most. I should be so lucky when my time comes around. Vidula’s parents took off for India earlier this week. Jahnavi got to meet him last year when we went to India, but she was only nine months old, so she won’t remember him. I will, and of course Vidula will. He meant a lot to the entire Kale family and will be missed a great deal.

Tatya was a wonderful, friendly, well-loved man. I first met him on my first trip to India in December 2000. Both he and Aai (Vidula’s grandmother) made me feel very welcome in their home (despite not having married their granddaughter yet). Tatya was quick to smile and had an infectious laugh, something that helped me feel comfortable in a strange, foreign environment. The laugh was a steady comfort even years later; after I acquired some Marathi, I could still barely understand him with his teeth out, but the laugh let me know everything was alright. He may have been in his 80s, but he was by no means slow…at least when he didn’t want to be. I remember once him leading me around the streets of Thane (a suburb north of Mumbai) to the local post office. He moved slowly, with great deliberation, walking stick in hand, pishwi (bag) slung over his shoulder. Since I didn’t know my way, I politely let him set the pace. At one point, we came to a busy intersection at the height of rush hour (imagine rush hour in a big American city x10). The sidewalk was cragged and crumbling and the traffic nearly a steady blur of cars, mopeds, and rickshaws. I glanced around nervously, wondering how we’d ever get across. Having surveyed the scene, I turned to offer my thoughts on when would be the safest time to cross. Much to my surprise, Tatya had not only lowered himself down off the sidewalk and crossed the seemingly impenetrable mass of moving vehicles, but he’d somehow made it up the next curb and was making his way down the other sidewalk. Fearing that he’d be out of sight in another second, I took my life in my hands, dashed across multiple lanes of traffic, and caught up to him, shaken and out of breath. Unfazed, Tatya smiled and, once again very slowly, lead me the rest of the way to the post office.

Not knowing even a little Marathi that first trip, I missed out on a lot. Like all the times that Tatya asked Vidula why I hadn’t asked her to marry me yet (FYI: I was waiting until after our upcoming move to Brussels, but that wouldn’t be for several more months). Finally, one afternoon he asked her and in frustration she retorted in English, “I don’t know, why don’t you ask him.” I understood that. The next day, Tatya called me over to his desk, where he often sat and worked on papers and such. I pulled up a chair. He then went to on to say something to the effect of, “You know, we do things here in India differently than you do it in America. It’d be nice if you decided to ask Vidula to marry you, especially since you, she, and the rest of the family are all here together.” I wasn’t exactly mortified, but I really had no response. I’d snuck over to the local jeweler with Christian and bought the engagement ring, but I had a plan and it didn’t involve an engagement party in India. “Not that I want to pressure you. It’s entirely your decision. But it’d be nice. Since we’re all here. Together. And you could ask her while you’re here.” I politely smiled and shook my head in agreement. What else could I do? “But again, it’s all up to you. But since we’re all here, together, it’d be nice.”

When Tatya talked, people listened. I just wished I could have understood him better, and spent more time getting to know him. And I wish Jahnavi could have gotten to know her punjoba better. At least we have stories and pictures.

Grandma

Less than two days later we found out that my grandmother had had a major heart attack early Monday morning. She’s in the hospital now and likely will be for some time, because she’s also battling pneumonia and a UTI. My mother and uncle say that she wasn’t responding for the first day afterward, but is now, although only with mumbles and nods. They’re treating her with antibiotics. There’s no chance they’ll risk surgery on her. I’ll keep posting about her health as things develop.

Jahnulala

Not all news is bad. Jahnavi is getting another one of her last teeth in. Her language skills continue to increase unabated. She’s started working on a growth spurt again. She’s able to say more and more sounds with sharper articulation. We’ve been “mama” and “dada” forever, but just this weekend she’s started calling us “mommy” and “daddy” unprompted. She copies long strings of words and gets most of the sounds right, even though she doesn’t know all the words yet; she even said her first curse word today (s*$t!), so we really better watch our timing on expletives. She’s been playing pretend more and more over the past month and half to two months. This afternoon, she was playing one of her favorite games – taking her stacking cups and asking me and her mother if we want water, which she then pretends to fill from one of the hinges on her high chair. This time, she asked Vidula if she wanted water and her mother responded no, she wanted coffee. Jahnu clarified, “One coffee?” Yes, one coffee. So she paused, raised her hands in the air, turned around, then said very apologetically, “Coffee all gone.” End of order.

Photos

Below are some photos from our last visit to India, in July 2oo6.

दिवंगत अत्मच्या शांति हेतू आम्ही प्रार्थना करतो ।

Recalcitrant and poopy

2007-09-09T18:20:00.000-07:00

Some weekend. I don't know what it was that got into Jahnavi, but it wasn't good. We've ruled out malignant spirits and demon possession (at least I have), a bad trip, and switching places with her evil twin. The past few nights she hasn't slept well; nightmares, we think. We could hear her calling out and crying out in shrieks; not something she does while awake. This happened throughout Thursday and Friday nights, leading her to begin Saturday with crying and whining and general un-cooperation on a scale and intensity we've never seen before (but we have seen it on a smaller scale before, which is how we deduced she wasn't actually being impersonated by a malevolent doppelganger). Last night, however, she seemed to sleep fine. Things Sunday were a little better, but not much. I took her to the Minnesota Children's Museum this morning to see Curious George, and that went really well, but her nap afterward was short and her good mood fleeting. Maybe it was just something she had to get out of her system, perhaps she's teething again (she almost has all her teeth), but more likely it was her poor sleep. One other possibility is that she's decided that the real terrible twos testing period should start more than a full month ahead of schedule.

On a much more positive note, potty training is progressing well. Once today and once last week, she sat on the potty and actually peed. You don't know how proud we are. She likes telling us she's poopy (whether she really is or not) and revels in reporting "I poopy" no matter what the results of sitting on the potty. Using toilet paper has unexpectedly become a fun game, and while we don't want to discourage its use, we have to put limits on it at this stage. She seems to really want to go "poopy" at daycare, too. She likes to imitate older kids (she was clearly inspired by Sahil to start trying to walk down the stairs on her own), and her best friend at school, Ashayia, is a little girl who's already potty trained.

By the end of the month, Jahnu will have moved to the daycare center on the other side of the University campus. They're closing hers. The city has taken over the land and given the owners 90 days to leave, so they can divert the river to begin construction on the new I-35W bridge. Most of her class is going with her, but not Ashayia; she's moving up to the next level. Some other students are going to other daycare centers that are more convenient and we're losing some teachers, too. It's like the breakup of a family.

Minal Maushi and Stephen Kaka

2007-09-05T20:34:00.000-07:00

Vidula's youngest sister, Minal, and her boyfriend, Stephen, came all the way from NYC for a short but relaxing weekend visit last Friday. While they were here we made sure they got a taste of Minnesota culture - we took them to the State Fair. That final Saturday of the festivities brought in over 200,000 people. The ever-present danger of being trampled by either hooves or sneakers was a thrill unto itself, but we all really wanted to let Jahnu see the domestic animals and sample the State Fair's many on-stick offerings (you name it and they serve it on a stick at the Great Minnesota Get-Together). Sadly, Minal Maushi and Stephen Kaka left the next day. Jahnavi didn't really get why they had to go and kept calling for Maushi and Kaka after we dropped them off at the airport. As long as we were at the airport and near the Mall of America, we thought we'd take her mind off of missing them by visiting The Park (formerly Camp Snoopy).

See us there, way in the back?

Stephen Kaka feeding the monkey health food

She petted all the pretty horses

Giddy up, Maushi!

Not lookin' so sweet

To pet or not to pet...

...to pet!

Nobody knows, da trubble I seen...

Only a couple of hours and we're beat

Highly tuckered, this one.

Cheese!

Strapping in for her first carousel ride

Woo hoo!

Strapping in for the big balloon ride

Say 'hi' to Daddy

Woo hoo again!

Fast cars

A nice, slow choo choo

And she's over it.

'J' to the 'N' to the 'V'

2007-08-30T20:02:00.001-07:00

I've been following her language development with great interest (and for obvious reasons) since Jahnavi uttered her first coo. It's been fascinating observing her adding sounds to her phonological repertoire and words to her vocabulary. She's begun piecing longer and more sophisticated sentences recently, the latest being "I don't want that." This seems to be at the expense of her sound-producing abilities, because she's now started replacing the first consonant in a two-syllable word with a similar consonant from the end or second syllable (i.e., 'duck' sometimes becomes 'guck', 'dog' becomes 'gog', 'Michael' becomes 'Gichael' - yes, she repeats everything we say, including when her mother and I address one another). I don't always understand what Jahnavi says and from time to time Vidula and I have to ask each other just what the @$*& she's trying to say, much to the frustration of all three of us.

I noticed several weeks ago that she can't say the 't' that comes between vowels in American English, such as in the words 'water' and 'butter'; she renders them more as 'waar' and 'buer'. The sound 'n' does something similar between vowels in American English, so it's equally hard to say. Along with that, sounds like 'j' are actually very complicated to produce, much harder than 'b', 'd', or 'g'. She can't say 'f'' or 'v' easily, but then neither can most of the toddlers in her daycare. All that adds up to Jahnavi having a hell of a time trying to say her own name, which contains a 'j', a between-vowels 'n', and a 'v'.

But tonight, she said it. We asked her what her name was and without hesitation she replied 'Jahnavi'. We asked her a second time, to make sure it wasn't a fluke, and this time she replied 'Jahnu'.

Antidisestablishmentarianism, here we come.

The Drive Westward

2007-08-22T10:59:00.000-07:00

Sahil, Maushi, and Kaka just left this morning. Sadness. It was nice having them here, but we'll see them again in Seattle when the new edition comes. We had a nice time - lots of food, a movie, the zoo, a visit to Chad, Jan, Dora, and Riley (photos forthcoming), pizza at Punch and ice cream at Grand Ole Creamery. I can't believe they stuffed so much into their car, but man! those Suburus can pack it in. Should be a nice drive to Sioux Falls, being so overcast.

Pigtails and teeth

2007-08-17T20:46:00.000-07:00

Jahnu's asleep while we sit and wait for her Maushi, Kaka, and Dada to arrive. Sunila, Christian, and Sahil set off from Cincinnati this morning by car, and last we heard a couple of hours ago they had just passed Madison. Wait! They just called. They've crossed the St. Croix River (which means they're no longer in Wisconsin) and should be here in 30 minutes or so. We're the next stop for them on their westward Washington trail. I'm sure we'll have plenty of photos and maybe even some video (?!) detailing their adventures here in a few days.

Jahnavi's back in her own daycare. They kept it closed for a week and half while Dubya and the Librarian came and made the bridge a political event. We had to take her to the other daycare center on the other side of the University campus (not far), but once they reopened last week we were happy to be back in our routine, especially Jahnu. The staff from both centers did an excellent job in making it as painless on the kids and parents as they could. But the kids were packed in the other place like tiny, whiny sardines; competition for space and toys was fierce and our monkey lashed out and bit a kid on two separate occasions. Now that she's back in familiar territory, she only bites one kid, but he apparently likes it because he actually comes up to her repeatedly and puts his hand in her mouth. We don't want her to be kicked out (it's a distant but nonetheless real possibility) and we don't want her to hurt others. Having said that, I think I'd be more upset if she were the bitee.

She's right on schedule to being a two-year-old: throwing tantrums, becoming more willful, talking more often in full sentences (short ones), and I can even have short conversations with her (about toys, food, choo-choos, planes flying overhead, that sort of thing). She tells us more often when she's "poopy", but still not a fan of her potty. On her language acquisition, she's now got consonant endings to syllables, i.e., she says "book" now instead of "buh".

Here're some random photos of the munchkino.

The Bridge

2007-08-01T20:14:00.001-07:00

It's been on the news all evening, so I thought I'd post something tout de suite. The section of I-35W that spans the Mississippi River in downtown Minneapolis collapsed during rush hour today. We're fine. We usually never take that route and had no idea anything'd happened until our friend Aaron called to make sure we were alright. None of our friends was on the bridge either. Unfortunately, Jahnavi's daycare sits nearly under the shadow of just that span, but they called us at 10pm tonight to let us know there was no damage to the building, but they'll be closed tomorrow anyway. That's a good thing, what with all the rescue workers moving in and out of the immediate vicinity. We'll drop her off at their other center on the other side of the University.

For more news on the collapse, try CNN or Google News.

Travel and news

2007-07-13T19:54:00.000-07:00

We came back from a week in Alaska last Sunday at midnight. It was a really nice trip spent with Vidula's parents and some family friends. The three of us flew to Seattle, spent the night with Vidul's friend, Steven (thanks for the room, board, and tour!), then boarded a big ol' cruise ship a la the Love Boat and sailed up to the great white north. After two days at sea we went into port at Ketchikan. It's the salmon capital of the world and boasts the world's largest collection of totem poles. Next day we sailed through the Tracy Arm Fjord and saw glaciers and icebergs (beautiful!), then docked in Juneau, the state capital, where we visited a lovely garden. The last American city on the agenda was Skagway, where we visited an even better garden and ate pasteries before we headed back out to sea for a day and half. Finally we ended up in Victoria, the lovely capital of British Columbia, Canada (and my first trip to a foreign land on this continent). Early the next morning we pulled into Seattle, where we napped in a Holiday Inn near the airport all day before flying out late that night.

It was a terrific trip and none of us got sick (but I brought an emergency stash of Dramamine just in case). We slept a lot and ate a lot. Luckily, our stateroom was on the inside and once the door was closed and the lights were out, we were practically in our own sensory deprivation chamber, especially with all the rolling back and forth and back and forth. Jahnavi slept like a, well, a baby and so did we. Up in the morning, upstairs to the buffet, back down to the room for a nap, then up again in time for lunch; a little later it'd be dinner time, then back to bed. Among Jahnu's achievements, she started blowing bubbles in her milk during the trip. Needless to say, we're proud. The worst thing to happen was actually good: remember that minor allergic reaction Jahnavi had a couple of weeks ago? Turns out she's got an allergy to walnuts of all things. She ate some pasta with ground walnuts on the ship and puffed up a little pink like before, which was a component of some cookies we gave her the first time. At least we know now. Even though didn't take in any shows, we did make the most of our time ashore with guided tours and souvenir shopping. And of course, multiple requisite photos.

Alaska Cruise

But like I said, we got back very late Sunday night and didn't get to bed before 2am. Work and daycare the next day meant we were all very tired Monday. We've spent the entire week losing all the sleep we caught up on during the trip. It's been especially rough for the little one because we decided before the cruise to take away her binky once we returned (no real reason for doing it now, it just seemed like a good time). She was up and crying for 2 hours Monday night, but that shortened to 30 min by Tuesday night. Last night was good, but then this morning, totally unrelated, she woke up with a fever, whiney, clingy, needing to be held constantly, and her appetite was all out of whack. I stayed home all day with her and this afternoon the three of us went to the doctor. She has some sort of minor viral infection the pede's been seeing a lot of lately. At least it's not the ear infection we feared. Good news, though, is that she hasn't asked for her pacifier all week. Mission accomplished.

Two announcements - baby things.

Cécile, our friend in Belgium, and her husband, Gunther, had their baby Amélie last month. Here are some photos of the new joy bundle.

Cécile et Amélie

And lastly, Sunila and Christian are expecting a sister for Sahil this coming December, once they've made their move to Seattle, where they've both accepted positions at the University of Washington. Vidul and I took a shine to the Emerald City, so it'll be nice having such a wonderful reason to get out there often.